the broken

Chapter 33

JUNE, 2009

Pj

I like Dan.

Always have.

I saw him there at that party curled up onto the couch, looking sad and impossibly pretty with his messy hair and big brown eyes. I knew I had to talk to him. And then he'd poured his heart out, and I'd been over the moon, heart swollen with happiness that he'd trusted me enough to let me in on his secrets. We had exchanged numbers and I'd gone home that night thinking of nothing but him.

When he called me up to ask for help, I almost crushed the bones in my hand from clenching my fist so hard, because seeing him crumpled up like that on the pavement made my skin crawl. He was sad, and I was infatuated. He tried to kill himself and I drove myself crazy with worry. The only person who was at the hospital more than me was Phil, who sat at his bedside with so much guilt and sadness pooling on his face, I thought maybe he'd drown in it.

Dan woke up.

I cried in relief.

He left the hospital, and Phil and I set up a party for three in the woods in honor of his birthday. The look on his face when he saw it was possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed in my entire life. We ate cake and laughed and I was only slightly jealous that he sat next to Phil instead of me.

They left, and that night, I lay in bed with my head whirling. I like him. A lot. And I'm going to do something about it. The next morning arrives in a glory of reds and golds and cool air, and I call up Dan. The phone rings for ages, and my fingers are crossed the entire time.

Finally: "Hello?" His voice is rumbly and tired and absolutely adorable.

"Hey Dan!" I say cheerfully. "Would you possibly want to hang out with me today? We could go to the park?" I hold my breath as he tells me to hang on, because he has to ask Phil if they have anything planned today, and my chest is tight with anticipation.

"Yeah, sure, that sounds like fun," he finally says, and my smile widens.

"Great! I'm coming to pick you up in 30 minutes."

He laughs and hangs up, and I am happy happy happy.

Not even an hour later, I am standing in the park with a very sleepy and very cute looking Dan stood next to me, all but leaning on me for support.

"It's too early to be awake, Peej," he mumbles, stumbling slightly, and I grab his arm to steady him. I just laugh and guide him along, heart fluttering because there is a beautiful boy walking next to me with heavy-lidded eyes and sleepy steps, and every time our hands brush my heart flips over. We walk around for a while, crunching through the leaves and talking about nothing much, until I lead us back to the entrance of the park, where it is the most beautiful, where the sunlight pools through the leaves and turns the ground to liquid gold.

We slide to a halt, and Dan looks up at me through his eyelashes, blinking in confusion. The sunlight dances on his skin and it makes me shiver.

I close my eyes, take a deep, shaky breath. I can do this.

"Peej?" he asks, confused.

"Can I try something?"

He tilts his head, eyes wide and curious.

"What do you mean? Try what?"

"Just..."

I grab his face with my hands and kiss him.

His hands freeze in the air, startled, before he pushes me away, cheeks pink, brow furrowed.

"Why would you... why did you do that?" he stammers, gripping onto his arms with tight fingers and shivering.

"Because... because I like you?" I say.

Confused.

"No, no, no, Peej, you can't. I'm... You... Phil, I'm with Phil," he says, shaking his head and looking distressed, confused.

My heart drops to my stomach, and I'm about to reply, when I feel eyes burning into me, and I look and there he is, there Phil stands on the street, a shopping bag hanging limply from his hands, staring at us, and it's only a second later that Dan turns and sees what I'm seeing.

His face crumples and he starts to step forward, but Phil shakes his head and turns on his heels, running away. With a sound of desperate despair clawing it's way from his throat, Dan stumbles into a run after him, and I am left in a whirlwind of leaves and sunlight and a big, big mess.

Whoops.

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a/n thingy: HEY it's been a while since i updated, sorry 'bout that, and this chapter is way short, but it's meant to be that way. sorry.
ALSO i would like to give a huge huge huge thank you to everyone for reading this story, as it just hit, what, 3.5k reads? that's a whole lot of reads for a whole lot of crappy writing, so thank you for sticking with me!