Out of everyone I have in this world I’ve come to a decision I can be happy with. I have a lot of friends and family who love and care for me and have been through various things in my life alongside me… but somehow I feel it in my heart who I have decided to trust is the only one I may ever trust at all. It wasn’t always hard for me to let people in or to tell them what was on my mind in a heartbeat. Few years back I was carefree, one of the most well known girls for being so honest, kind, modest, funny and bubbly. But people change though and things never ever stay the same. Time will go on no matter what happens and the earth will spin by you so fast that the second you loose your balance you will loose it all. Time waits for no one. Least of all just a simple girl like me. I’ve learned that now and I suppose that I will go on to say that in other random chapters. I’m going to go ahead and say it all because I cannot speak a word of what I write. Instead you can read all this if you wish… See what can’t be said. I know I could risk losing it all again but I don’t care. I won’t ever regain the part of me that was lost and I have accepted that now. If you’re reading this… and you will know how you are… hear me out. Now I am going to begin with the reason why I am doing this in the first place and write about a few things because that’s this story’s purpose in the first place. Here we go.
I remember the first time I ever saw this girl. She arrived at school and it was like peering through a fogged up window as I tried to get a glimpse at who she was underneath. So quiet and just alone. I hated it so much. I desperately wanted to just go over and talk to her. Make friends with her or something or try and stop the populars from teasing her. But I was so shy and scared and afraid that if I tried to make friends with her that it would turn out horrible and be awkward. Behind it all I’ve never been as confident as many people think. I love meeting new people, yes, but it always makes me terrified. One of the things I hate about myself. I understood all about the new-girl crap because I moved schools when I was younger. No one should have to go through it alone. It took a very very long time but one day after confessing to one of my friends that I really wanted to talk to her, she pulled me over and forcefully introduced me to this girl. In this she will be known as Isabella. Now while it was awkward as hell at the start I began to sit with her more in maths class and enjoyed sitting with her. We had a lot of strange conversations and she never ceased to make me laugh. Then much to my delight when I began year nine I had a whole 5 classes out of 6 with her, which couldn’t have made me happier. It wouldn’t have been the same beginning the year without her. Isabella along the way told me bits and pieces of her past but I knew she was forever guarded and still is. It was in that that I found the similarities that we shared. I began to believe that maybe she was afraid to trust people too. What angered me the most was that I almost never heard a good thing when she told me about her life. So much sorrow and so much tragedy that no one should have to face. I began to wonder why she of all people was the one to be put through such hard times. She didn’t deserve it. Being one child out of an amount of siblings double the average of brothers and sisters kids usually have, with a billion cousins and nephews and nieces scattered about it didn’t surprise me to hear that she was entitled to babysit so often. But the amount of her time that was spent caring for others mustn’t have left her with much time for herself. It seemed to me like all these kids were being dumped on her. So much hard work could not have been healthy for a teenager in the middle of high school. Although I talk in past tense I assure you this still goes on now and even after I move on and forget this account that more than likely by the time future readers view this it will still be going on. I barely even know Isabella and her life to be honest and I know that she does not trust me. But I am putting my trust in her; the only person who hasn’t hurt me yet, in the hopes that I will make her understand that I’m here. After reading something she had put up on an account I wanted to do this for her. Because even though I can’t give her a happy ending perhaps and set her up with some prince charming, I want to be the best person I can be and at least make her happy for as long as I know her for. Many things go on around me but of this I am sure; the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Isabella when she’s been through so much. It makes me so proud to just be able to call her my friend because really, beneath all her insecurities and bad things she says about herself, she’s bloody awesome. Slowly if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to show this girl that she can trust me. But by doing that I need to be completely honest with her and that’s why I’m writing this. In The next confessions and whatever else happens in these chapters I will give something but the complete truth and pray for the same in return. I want to give her what she deserves; an epic friendship. And this is what I’m going to do. So so many have gotten away with stabbing her in the back and gossiping about her when they think she isn’t listening and the world knows that I am right. So no more… I don’t want to have Isabella afraid that the next time she lets her guard down that someone will bring her crashing down. What is broken I am going to fix and show her that she isn’t alone. Maybe once before but I pray that you’ll never have to feel that way again because I’ll always be here. From one friend to another… you’re amazing. I want you to believe in yourself and most of all I want you to turn around and tell anyone who tells you otherwise to fuck themselves. Including your absolute bitch of a step mum who needs to burn in hell. I dedicate myself to giving you one friend that you can tell absolutely anything to.
So I guess… if you’ll give me a chance, read on. I swear I’ll never lie to you. You will never ever be alone. I promise.
