Muke Oneshots || boyxboy

i wish it were your arms

*trigger warning!*

"good morning. today is a yellow day. lunch today is chicken nuggets. we regret to inform you that last night, our student michael clifford died."

my hands tighten around my desk and i feel my face go white. i hear multiple gasps. i just let out a choked sound. as the announcements continue, i continue to let out sounds similar to the one i have made.

people stand for the pledge, but i am frozen in my chair. how can they just go on with announcements like that? michael died. michael died. the reality hits me. i let out a sob and everyone who wasn't already looking at me is now.

i cross my arms on my desk and cry into them, not giving a damn how loud i am. it becomes realer by the second. micheal died. michael is gone. i will never see his smiling face again, nor hear his cute little laugh. my best friend and boyfriend died.

i shove my chair back and stand up extremely quickly. i take a few staggered breaths. i'm being watched by the entire class as i stumble towards the door, wiping my free-falling tears.

mrs carr walks up to me as i reach the door.

"luke! where are you going?" i attempt to say 'away from here' but it just comes out as unintelligible mumbles. i start walking when she calls out to me again.

"you can't just leave during a class! look i know this is traumatic but-" this bitch. i turn on my heel to shout at her.

"my boyfriend committed suicide!" the room goes silent. nobody knew we were dating. nobody knew he was depressed. i don't even know if that's what happened, but i have a hunch that it is. more than a hunch. i'm practically sure it is.

"and i- i couldn't stop him." i continue, my voice wavering dangerously. oh god. he seemed sad earlier yesterday, why the fuck didn't i text him to make sure he was okay?

we usually text all the time after school, but i was a dumbfuck and didn't once message him. it should've been a sign. i just thought it was ons of those 'the other one is gonna text first' situations that end up with neither one texting.

i drop to the ground on my knees, crying into my hands. "it's all my fault." i sob. "it's all my fault." i repeat, a but louder. "it's all my fault!" i wail.

"luke-" mrs. carr says, cautiously walking over to me. nervous glances are exchanged amongst my classmates.

"shut the fuck up!" i scream. she winced, aghast. i don't even care if i get a detention. i don't care about anything except for the fact that my boyfriend is no longer breathing.

i push myself up off the floor and run. i run out of the classroom, down the hall, and out the main door.

"hey!" i hear the principal shout. i don't fucking care. i continue to run. i don't stop running until i reach my house.

"luke?" jack asks woriedly when i stumble into the house, tear streaks on my face. "what are you doing home? are you alright?"

"yeah, jack. just peachy keen. boyfriend died, no biggy! just here cause i forgot my fucking cupcakes filled with sunshine!" i say, glaring at him.

"michael died?" he asks in a hushed whisper. i start to nod, but break down crying again. he walks over to me and envelops me in his arms. it's nice, only... i wish they were mikey's.

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry im an evil author i know

but if you are thinking about suicide, please remember there are people who love you!

i know it sounds cheesy but i love you. your friends love you. your parents love you. there are people out there who make it their priority to make you happy.

this could quite possibly be how your friend would react if you committed.

feel free to message me if you're having suicidal thoughts. you are not alone. although, i may not be the best at giving advice, so here are some suicide hotlines

us: 1 (800) 273-8255

uk: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90

canada: +1 (905) 688 3711

australia: 08 93 81 5555

i dont know where all of you are from, so if your country isn't up here, you can go to http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

please don't give up, you are worth it <333