Simon Cowell fanfic!1!1

smut dos

Today, Dan was auditioning for the X factor. He was very nervous, but his boyfriend Phil threatened him to the brink of no buttsecks, and here he was now, arms glued on his aides awkwardly, waddling like a penguin.

"Be a good little boy," Phil reminded him, with a mischievous look plastered on his face.

As Dan strode onto the stage, he could hear millions of girls and guys alike screaming at his hotness.

dan knew he was hot. He had a killer jawline that he cut ikea furniture with and hello kitty pez kits that could steal yo man

Too bad he had a boyfriend

After the audience quieted down, Simon stood up and glanced at Dan from head to toe.

"You are?" Simon grunted.

"Hi, my name is [Dan], and I'll be auditioning to be the heater for this place because I'm hot."

Simon glared at the crowd, which was screaming in agreement, teenager boys and girls alike yearning towards the stage.

"Dan, the freezer could do a better job at heating the place than your hotness will."

"M8, wot r u talkin abut?!?1!" demanded Phil as he flew up on the stage with house plants attached to his back. "Dis lad be lookin like he came straight outta mah dick!1!"

"Wheell see abut dis backstage," Simone sed, wnking @ Dan. "You may audition, now."

As soon as simon sed dat, every1 in da audience reached below their seats to grab their eskimo jackets lined with fish feathers.

Dan's hotness wasn't working.

seems like Howell isn't going to be howelling tonight.

TO BE CONTINUED...