Hey Twinkie!

I do well in school, but under Asian standards, I’m failing. A 3.7 simply does not meet standards. I dress like a white girl. I talk like a white girl. I think like a white girl, have more white friends than I do Asian friends. I have a boyfriend who’s white. I am yellow on the outside, white on the inside; I’m a Twinkie.

When I was younger, I lived to please my parents. Everything I did was to make them proud. But as the years passed, pleasing my parents no longer seemed like a tangible thing to do, and I developed ideas of my own. Of course, my parents, being the Asian parents they were, didn’t agree.

How come my friends had so much more freedom than me? Because their parents are white and don’t care what they do. Why is it that I had to do so much homework? Because I said so. Why did I have to go to Chinese school on my Friday nights? You have to learn about your language and culture. Why this? Why that?

Up until middle school, I dressed in whatever my mother put me in. In middle school, everyone went through that Aeropostale, Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch phase. At first, my mother was really reluctant to let me be a walking billboard. Eventually, she caved in. The thing about Asian mothers though, they only buy things when on clearance, or at second hand stores such as the Salvation Army. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s great to thrift and save money but honestly my mother buys me so much random jewelry on sale that is never worn or anything, when instead she could buy me clothes. Although I appreciate her buying me anything at all, it would make so much more sense to buy stuff that I actually will use. It’s being smart with your money.

Then came high school, where everyone makes their own style. Because I had grown up here in the US, I was used to the trends here. Crop tops, short shorts, v-necks, spaghetti straps, etc. According to my parents, they were slutty, and inappropriate. I looked like a streetwalker, a whore, a baby prostitute. Girls in Asia, show leg. But they never show cleavage (not like they have any to show). I was a mutant, and had really big breasts for such a little Asian person like me, with my D-cups. The thing with having big boobs is that if you wear the same shirt that someone with no boobs wear, it will always look a million times sluttier on you.

Finally, sexy underwear. The leggings trend came with a very important thing: thongs and g-strings. I didn’t want panty lines and so I had to secretly purchase a bunch of skimpy thongs and g-strings. Imagine the horror when my mother found out I had such racy things! Aiya~ what is a 16-year-old doing with sexy underwear?! You don’t need it! Mom, panty lines. Then don’t wear leggings!

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Hey all, long time no see. Sorry for falling off the face of the Earth. I wrote this little thing a while ago, more as a rant than anything and left it here so I thought I would publish it just for kicks. If I'm feeling it in the future I might continue with this but for now, that's it.

I promise to write some more of Masquerade soon as well, so please check it out!!

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