infatuation // m.h

22

(A/N: Okay change of plans - next chapter will be the funeral. I had to squeeze this short little one in first.)

Dinner went smoothly. Matty filled his Mum in on what had been happening in his life, and I watched them, occasionally speaking. They had a good bond, anyone could tell. They didn't have to speak every day on the phone to know that they were close.

"So...how's Dad?" Matty asked cautiously.
"He's doing alright. Shaken up and heart broken, obviously. But we'll be alright." Denise said, holding back tears.
"We'll be alright." Matty echoed, squeezing his Mum's hand. She smiled at him, with so much love in her eyes.

"Okay, well, why don't you two go watch some telly while I wash up?" Denise said.
"I'll help you wash up," I volunteered. Matty eyed me. "You go relax." I said to him. He sighed and nodded. He walked away to the living room and turned on the TV.
I felt a pang in my chest, because if Louis were still here, they'd be watching TV together and bickering and laughing. I could almost feel Matty thinking the same thing.

"You really don't need to help, I'm fine." Denise said.
"I want to do anything I can. I know how hard this is." I said. I remember my Dad, how distraught he was when Mum left. We managed, but it was hard without her.
"I know. Thank you, Nikki. Honestly, you're a blessing." Denise said, kissing my forehead. I smiled and hugged her. We did the washing up and afterwards I desperately needed a smoke.

I stepped outside. It was dark and the front porch light cast a warm yellow light over the wooden deck. I saw Matty sitting on the porch swing, smoking. His eyes were closed and I could see that his hands were shaking. I silently sat down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me without a second thought. Our heads rested together as I kept time with Matty's breathing.
"I'm not ready for tomorrow." Matty said after a while.
"I know."
"I miss him so much."
"I know."
"We'd be laughing right now if he were here."
"I know."

After a few seconds Matty stood up. "I need to go for a drive. Clear my head." Matty said.
I nodded. "Don't do anything stupid, I love you." I said, kissing his lips softly before watching him drive off into the night.

I walked back into the house.
"Where's Matty?" Denise asked.
"He's gone for a drive. Said he needed to clear his head." I replied.
"Okay," Denise said, turning around to return to the kitchen. She stopped and sighed before turning back around to face me. "Nikki, can I ask you some things?"
"Of course." I said.

We sat down in the living room and Denise looked nervous.
"What's wrong, Dee?" I asked.
"Is Matty okay? Is he doing alright?" Denise asked.
"Well, he's torn up, obviously. But he's managing." I said sadly.
"And how are you two doing, are you guys okay?" Denise asked.
"We're alright. We were kind of on a break, but we're back together now." I said.
"A break? When?" She asked, suddenly looking wide-eyed.
"A while ago. It for only for a little over a month. But it was hell." I admitted.
"What happened?" Denise asked.
I bit my lip. "He - um - kissed another girl. And we fought, and I left and then he called me up drunk and sad and told me everything about - well, you know." I said quietly.
"It's okay, love. You can say his name. I'm alright," She reassured me. "But did Matty really kiss another girl?" Denise asked, shocked.
"Yeah. Some model at a club. Gemma, I think her name was. But anyway, we're fine now, and I don't want to stuff this up." I said.
"He really loves you, you know," Denise whispered. "He rings me sometimes and all he talks about is Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. He's obsessed with you. Infatuated." Denise smiled.
"I love him a lot." I whispered with a soft smile.
"I'm glad he's in love with you. I'm glad you two found each other." She said.

"How do you think you'll go tomorrow?" I asked.
"I'll cry. But I'll be alright." Denise said, patting my arm.

Denise went up to bed after Matty came home.
Matty and I went upstairs hand in hand. I glanced at the bathroom, with the discarded credit card and line of cocaine. I'll get up early and clean it up tomorrow.
"You are going to stop, aren't you?" I asked him quietly. 
"Yeah." He mumbled with eyes glazed over. I didn't push any further. 
We crawled into bed together, in the spare room. 
"Sorry I left. I just had to sit and think for a bit." Matty whispered. 
"It's alright. Are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm alright." Matty said. He managed a small smile. 
"Sleep. I love you." I said, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his nose before we drifted off.