Surviving Cancer

Wednesday, September 13

                I fumbled with the edge of the destroyed patch on my jeans nervously.  "I wanted to apologize about Levi.  I really..."

                "It's fine, really." He said cutting me off but keeping his attention on his notebook.

                "He's just..." I started again.

                "Really Maci, I get it..."  He once again cut me off.

                "No Skylar.  I want to come." His eyes met mine with a hopeful expression.  "That is if the offer still stands."

                  Skylar's face lit up instantly, that smile that had greeted me almost everyday for the past two weeks was back and it was contagious.  "Of course it does."

                I blushed, glancing down at my desk as people began filtering in.  I had no idea why I was blushing but my cheeks were burning red.  I peeked out of the corner of my eye seeing Skylar smiling back at me.  He chuckled when I mouthed the word 'what', giving me a shrug in return. 

                "Alright class, get your notebooks out and start working on your assignment.  You should be well on your way; I expect rough drafts next Wednesday." Mrs. Chilson said, taking a seat behind her desk, seemingly oblivious to the eruption of noise in the classroom. 

                I groaned, shoving my forehead into my hand as I stared at the blank notebook.  My childhood had been stolen by cancer, that was all I had focused on.  I didn't get to go to my best friend's sleepover birthday party when we were nine.  I missed her tenth and eleventh birthday parties as well.  I didn't get any huge birthdays and neither had Levi.  Once I was diagnosed we had to kiss vacations goodbye, and numerous other things.  Granted it had only been three years but those three years I was robbed.  The only thing I can remember about my childhood is sitting in a hospital room, watching my hair fall out in clumps and praying for the nightmare to end.  It made me grow up and fast.  

                "Did you start over?" I glanced up to see Jackie leaning over to my desk staring at the blank page.  I nodded my head, dropping my eyes back down to my lack of progress.  "Why?"

                "I just... I don't know.  I decided my first topic wasn't very good." I mumbled.

                "What was it?" Jackie swung her legs over, resting her elbows on her knees as she talked.

                "Nothing, it wasn't good." I mumbled again.

                She snatched my notebook off my desk before I had time to react.  I froze, anxiety rising through my body.  I hadn't ripped out the page from the first day we started the assignment.  I instantly felt sick to my stomach as Jackie fanned through the notebook.  Her finger stopped near the middle of the notebook, and I knew she had seen the page full of writing.  I thought about ripping the notebook out of her hands but that would only cause a scene, which would end up in everyone finding out.  She glanced down at the page and then back up at me, her eyes wide with shock.

                "Wait before you say anything." I said quietly, "Please don't tell anyone.  I really don't want anyone to know."

                "You have cancer?" She barely whispered.

                "Had.  I had..." I nodded my head towards the notebook rather then saying the word.  "Can we talk about it later, please?"

                I lightly tugged the notebook from her hand, closing it.  I watched out of the corner of my eye as Jackie turned back to her desk like a zombie.  Perfect example of why I didn't want anyone to know.
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                 I had my finger linked through Levi's belt as we squeezed ourselves through the crowds in the cafeteria.  We came to a halt at the table taking our usual seats.  I smiled at Jackie who gave me a sympathetic look; I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I looked down so she wouldn't see my annoyance. Levi on the other hand had made three new friends.  Britney, Sarah, and Erin adored him, though I had noticed that Erin had been eyeing up Greg.  I glanced at Jackie, knowing the others were too interested in talking to Levi.