WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?

(13)

I opened the fridge and found a carton of orange juice and a banana. After opening several cupboards, I managed to locate a granola bar and a glass. I poured some juice in the glass and took a much needed sip before carrying everything on the terrace outside. I chose the most secluded table, sat down and took in the breathtaking sight in front of me.

With the rising sun, the lake looked like an endless mirror that would swallow you whole if you got too close. Even the small sail boats anchored at Rochester's harbor, looked scared from afar as they swayed in the morning breeze.

I sighed before tearing the granola bar open and took a small bite.

I couldn't believe how angry Tyler had looked when he thought I'd dressed to go on a date. He'd looked almost ready to devour me.

I'd never felt as scared as I had just then, when he'd hovered over me, and I could feel the fiery anger coming out in waves from him.

I took another bite of the bar absent-mindedly.

And yet, for some odd reason I couldn't fathom, I had also liked it. I had really, really liked it.

In fact, I kind of had grown to really, really like being in Tyler's close vicinity a bit too much, I thought, because as much as Tyler's strange act frightened me, it also made me feel things I'd never felt before.

And I'm not talking about tingles or butterflies, either.

No.

It was something raw, almost violent. Something that had scared me almost as much as his uncalled for fury.

I blew out a big breath of air.

I had to carry on with my plan. That overwhelming experience had done nothing but enhance my desire to stay the hell away from him.

Tyler Van Houten was too dangerous.

And yet you are thinking about him again... I thought as a wave of guilt almost knocked me out. When an image of Cam in his casket popped in my head as if to make me feel even guiltier I stood up abruptly and ran back inside, startling several boys, and back in Leo's room where I threw up violently.

How could I be having such trivial thoughts about some out of my league rich dude I'd known for three weeks on a day like today?

What kind of superficial girl had I become to forget about the boy who'd been like a second brother to me?! A boy who'd made me laugh whenever I felt bad about something, who'd run to the chemist's to buy me tampons that day my periods had arrived while we were having a Dragon Ball marathon at his place, who'd held me for hours after my cat Moe had been run over by a car...

I threw up again.

Cam, just as Tom, had been my whole world two years ago. Everything we did, we did together, at school as well as out of school.

Having grown up as neighbors had made it easier, since we only had to cross our garden to get to one another's. Our house was between Tom's and Cam's. We had sleepovers almost every night either in one of our bedrooms, or in all the craziest places we tried over the years.

Tents, made-up tents – which invariably ended up flying or being flooded in the middle of the night, tree houses – the one we built in Cam's garden with his Dad's help was the best, an inflatable boat – memorable experience! , a giant homemade hammock that didn't make it through the night... We were the adventurous kinds. Our favorite movie was The Goonies and we were convinced we'd one day find a hidden treasure in Mount Brandt forest.

We never did, of course, but it never stopped us from organizing new expeditions, that's what we called them. In reality, they were more our way to always spend as much time as we could together in spite of school, our classmates and families, and we'd stopped looking for hidden caves and forgotten trunks filled with gold coins, back in Middle School already, but many inside jokes had referred to secret bounty and secret underground lakes until the very end.