A Knight To Remember - UNCUT R18

Chapter 26 and Summary

The cold blanket of loneliness gripped me, chilling me to the bone.

“If you go, you take your brother with you,” Grace insisted.

“No,” Both Torc and Thomas replied.

“He will slow me down Mother.  He will get himself killed,” Torc scoffed.

“Mother, I can’t leave you,” Thomas sounded defeated. 

“No you both must go.  This involves you both.  It is time you found your own path in the world Tommy.  I cannot hold you here any longer.  Johnny he is your brother and as different as you are, you are also the same.  If you must do this then you must do this together or not at all.”

I stood there watching the exchange and holding back my tears. 

“We will come too,” Joe whispered.

Thomas’ eyes scrunched in pain, “No Joe, you have loved ones here.  This may not be a short campaign.  I need you all to look after my Mother.  Joe?  Sam?  Ed?  Will you do that for me?”

His friends nodded and silently stood.  Grace was moving towards the door as she spoke to her sons about the documentation they would need to prove their claims. 

The barn emptied. 

I was completely alone.

Now I had nothing again.  I dropped to a hay bale and buried my face in my hands allowing the tears to flow.  Both my lovers, or should I say ex-lovers, were embarking on a quest which would quite probably expose my father as a murder.  After all on the basis of Grace’s story he stood the most to gain from his brother’s death.  He would inherit the title, and by implicating Torcall and Grace he could have annulled the engagement and therefore he would have had everything he needed to marry Siobhan.  I had seen the look on Torc’s face.  He would kill my Father.

I could not stay here.  I would not be welcome. 

Torc and Thomas would head North looking for answers.  The twelve would go with Torc.  He would need them and he would never leave them at the mercy of the King.  Especially when he suspected that Edward was somehow involved with this.  His men would stay with him.

And where did that leave me?

Did I really have a choice?

Did I ever really have a choice?

“Maeb?” his soft voice surprised me.  He dropped to a squat in front of me so as to look me in the face.  “Don’t cry my love.”

I shook my head, I couldn’t speak for fear that I would completely break.

He wiped away the tears, “Will you ever forgive me?”

I released a half sob half laugh sound, “Does it matter?  You are leaving.  You must go and find the truth.  And I must go and face my fate.  I cannot out run it.”

“What if I am your fate?  Did fate not bring us together?  I have found you and I don’t plan on letting you go again.”

“But Torc, you go to prosecute my father.”

“No, my love, I go to find the truth.  If that truth exposes your father as guilty then we will cross that bridge when we find it.  But I will not leave you to that man.  I feel it in my bones that he is in bed with this evil doing.  Whether or not he held the blade that killed your uncle, he was involved.  Mark my words, the King knows what happened and has profited from it.”  Torc took a deep breath containing his rage before continuing.

“This villain I have willingly fought for and served under, only to find was likely responsible for the downfall of my Father.  No Maeb, I would never allow you to return to his house.”

“There is no point running Torc.  I am married to him.  We cannot emulate your parents.  By law I must return to him.”

“No!  You carry my child.  No.”

“Torc you were willing to give him this child.  You promised it to him.”

“I was a fool Maeb.  I was a damn fool!   Why do you think I turned Douglas away?  I could not believe you would accept me after all I had done.  The life I had was built on lies.  You saw through them all when I was blinded by them. When I naively believed in this gift so much that I willed it into existence, you told me that there was no magic.  When I manufactured my title and my nobility, you saw who I was.  I was nothing.  Then I betrayed you and our child.  I was and I still am so ashamed of my actions.  I failed you so many times Maeb.   I failed to be the man you needed me to be and I hurt you both physically and emotionally.  I didn’t think I deserved your forgiveness.  I thought it would be insulting to you to ask for it.”  He wrapped his hands around my face and gently brought it level with his own, “But I never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you.”

“What good will that do Torc?  What will loving me solve?” I laughed as my tears wet his hands, “Do you remember what I asked of you?  Just before the tournament, just before I rejected you to save you?  I asked that you remember me above all that you have been with.  Now my life is truly forfeit, I suppose I have my wish.  Remember me, Torc.”

“I will not allow him to do that!  I cannot allow that!  Place your trust in me once more Maeb.  I know I don’t deserve your faith but...”

“Blossum, how can you listen to him?” Thomas’ voice shook with anger. 

“You know nothing Thomas!” Torc growled but his eyes did not leave mine.

“I know that you forced yourself onto her.  I know you raped her.”

Torc closed his eyes as he took a long breath.  When he opened them they swam with sorrow but his voice was even, “Yes I did.  I did what no man should ever do.  I hurt the woman I love for the sake of my own sexual needs.  I will forever live with the burden of this.  But this is none of your business Tommy.  It is up to me to prove to Maeb that I am a changed man and it is up to her to decide whether she will trust in me enough to forgive me.  I appreciate that you are looking out for her Tommy but your motives are not pure.”  He stood and turned to face Thomas.

“Johnny...” Thomas started to snarl back.

“Stop it!  Both of you!” I stood up and placed myself between them a hand on each man’s chest.  “You are both about to embark on the same journey which quite probably killed your father.  How do you expect to succeed where he failed, when you bicker like children?”  I glared at them both, “I haven’t forgiven either of you!  I should return to my Husband.”

“No Maeb!”

“Blossum, don’t!”

“What choice do I really have?” I dropped my hands from them and my shoulders slumped, “You both have to do this.  You must clear your father’s name.  I cannot stay here with Grace, not now that I have been found.  Word will get back to him.  I must not endanger anyone else.”

“Come with us Maeb,” Torc said quietly, “We need you, I need you, and you need us.  You know these people.   We could use your help if we are to find the truth.”

“So that is your motivation in asking for forgiveness Torc?” I whispered in pain.

He shook his head, “You believe that?  I can see that I have a long way to go to win your heart.”

“Forget him Blossum.  I want you to come with us,” Thomas smiled at me but his face showed his vulnerability. “I am asking you to come with us Blossum because I love you.   I know nothing of the outside world but I trust you. I am sorry I mislead you.  I was impatient. But please don’t go back to that man.”

“But if I accompany you the King will know.  It will not help.”

“But don’t you see,” Torc smiled, “It will.  Having you at the head of the Twelve and visiting the Lords of his Kingdom will expose him for what he is.  He is currently waging a war in your name.  How will the Lords react if they find this was false?  How will they react to the King if they find that he lied to them?  We may well kill two birds with one stone!”