The Daughter Of A Devil

three

London's POV-

"Little Stymph, since you've been in the mortal world, how is it like?" I asked, petting the bird. Stymph purred and cawed something that sounded like "blue sky", "poking space la tay", "bay seek" and the word "floaties".

"So far you know that the sky is blue-"

Wow, the sky is blue in the mortal world? We only see grey, red and black here.

"-and pumpkin spice latte-"

What in the world are pumpkins and lattes? Sure, I know what spices are but what the heck?

"-basic-"

Basic. Now that I know.

"-and floaties."

I have no idea what those are.

Stymph nodded and began pecking at my finger.

"You know Stymph, I've never left the Underworld. Never."

I honestly never have, that's why I don't know stuff.

"You can't leave the Underworld until you're sixteen." I mimicked, thinking about what Dad had said to me when I asked. Stymph's head shot up, and he started squawking loudly.

He flew towards the hall and started shooting feathers into the matte grey stone door, making cracks in it.

"Stymph, it'll take the servants days just to fill in the cracks and matte the door!" I exclaimed. As soon as I said that, Stymph chirped and settled himself on my shoulder. A soft klunk came from the door, and it swung open to reveal Dad, who rushed in and flew into the kitchen.

"London! Can I eat the batter of your blood cupcunks?" He yelled, rummaging the drawers and cupboards.

"Dad, it's cupcakes, and no, you can't eat the batter. You did last time." I screeched at him as he dipped his finger in the batter and licked it off.

Technically, it wasn't blood cupcakes. They were actually red velvet cupcakes, and I was about to put the batter into the cupcake liners. I wouldn't hurt a mortal (unless I was forced to). I got the recipe from a dead body of a lady in her twenties. Apparently she keeps a recipe book in her bag wherever she goes.

They sell recipe books and pre-made cake mix in hell too, it's just that Bloodworths (Woolworths) has a twisted version of it. He buys food from Bloodworths. All the time. He went to Trader Demons (Trader Joe's) and Holes (Coles in Australia) once. It was bad.

"Hey London, guess what? Today I tried a different grocery store, and they didn't have centaur hair pasta or human fingers! And the staff said: "We are promoting a 'no human fingers' for the week as the human population is cutting down by 20 percent. They should probably be done restocking by next week, because you know, teens.' And that was good enough for me not to kill him, I guess." -Dad 2015

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A/N: I hope the last second line doesn't offend anyone because when I was writing that paragraph, I thought of my friend who recently lost her V-Card. Sorry if I did offend you ;-;
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Here's a weird list of foods/things that my dad buys from Bloodworths every week:

-Centaur hair pasta
-Expired applesauce
-Dognuts (Doughnuts/Donuts)
-Metal dusters for tickling "Panties" (Panties is the bird that lives in my Dad's office. He got dared to name it Panties. Don't ask me why.)
-Slimy bagels covered in crusty Cheetos