How to Steal a Happy Ending

•twenty three• Drinking is...I don't know, bad for you or something

I am a lightweight. A complete and total lightweight.

Somehow I manage to forget this simple fact just as quickly as I learn it. I saw the bottom of that first cup and of three after it. Or maybe I was just staring down the same cup all this time. There was a short game of beer pong; short because my hand-eye coordination was worse than a dog having a seizure. And for a moment I was a part of a loud, off key rendition of Cry Me A River. Or was that just in my imagination? It was hard to tell at this point.

It took nearly all my concentration to safely connect my butt to the L-shaped couch on Connor's foyer.

James had himself spread out opposite to me, arms stretched over the headrest. He was wearing a thin white t-shirt with his standard skinny jeans. The leather bracelet he wore on his wrist caught my drowsy eye. Where have I seen that before?

"Duude, that's such an awesome- awesome thing." I attempted to reach for his hand when the room started to dangerously sway. My outstretched fingers clutched at the off-white, leather armrests in front of me. The floor swooped out from underneath and to the side. The discotheque of a thousand different bright, shining color patches were stamped onto my field of vision. Glowing, pulsating, nauseating.

A pair of hands gripped my arms and pulled me onto their lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, "I didn't sign up for this ride." Beneath my cheek, I could feel the laughter reverberate through his chest. If I had to die then and there, I'd be like "okay."

A shrug on his part now placed my head sideways. Wrapping my arms around him, I decided it was best to stay here for a while. "You're unusually touchy today." His lips carried a lazy grin as his blue eye tilted down at me. "I'm guessing college boy didn't let you cuddle?"

"The world is spinning," I mumbled back, face properly buried in the nook between shoulder and neck.

"Yes, and it revolves as well, the pesky little thing."

If I had the will power, I would've thought of something witty to say back. The most I could muster at the moment was a 'shaaap Jimmy'

"So what's his name, the guy you've shagged? Or do u not know?"

"Austin." There was an edge to his question or maybe it was just the alcoholic paranoia pounding beneath my temples. "He lives downtown."

"Since his name is Austin, shouldn't he live in Texas?" He asked, immediately cracking up. Clearly, the drunken version of James loves dropping not only his pants but poor jokes as well.

But I liked it when he laughed. Really, I liked it when he did anything. "Jimmy, do you like me?"

James didn't answer immediately. Eyes trained on me, the lazy grin from before made a reappearance. "Do I like you? hmmm," He leaned forward to touch his forehead to mine; the grin had dissipated into quiet amusement that ricocheted around the boundaries of his eyes. Any common sense I had left flew out of me with a whoosh. Placed this close to him, I realized how thick his eyelashes were and wondered how much mascara I'd have to use to get mine that way. Who cares, they're pretty.

We sat like that for far too long to be considered normal. I was waiting for him to say something, while he was...what the hell was he doing? Again, who cares? He's pretty. And so I sat there in his lap, with no fucks to give.

Finally, he spoke in a whisper that I had to strain to hear over the noise that surrounded us. "Normally, I like every girl's equally but tonight," his eyes dipped down to my chest for one long moment before lackadaisically rising to meet my gaze. "I like your boobs the best."

It wasn't really the kind of appreciation I wanted. "You're mean." was the only way my muddled mind could express its disappointment. I took hold of an imaginary glass and tipped it in the air as if pouring its non-existent contents over his head. " And I didn't even sleep with him, the hot guy."

"That's a shame, you might as well have."

"Well, what if I didn't want to? I'm not some sort of-" His mouth twitched and I was pretty sure he was fighting a smile. "Okay, but you know that doesn't mean I'm going to lose. So stop getting all happy. I'll find some other bozo. Like literally anyone's hot enough to beat Sara," I scoffed.

His gaze broke off mine the minute I mentioned it, the tone of our conversation suddenly shifting. "Sara's not part of it." He slowly took my hands in his and picked me up off of him and onto the couch instead. I let him reassemble my limbs next to him, that twinge of abandonment too sharp to ignore. I should've just died back then, there's no coming back from an comfort like that.

"I'm going to go fetch Nate, al right?"

I pouted,"Jimmy, noo."

"Clary, yes." I watched his retreating back with a wavering pout and watery eyes. "Just stay there," he told me as he languidly made his way out of the room, leaving me to deal with the weight of his absence.

And it occurred to me then- the kind of thought you can't un-think.

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A/N: Cliff hanger! Now, I'm going to go on a ten week vacation and not update for another twelve =)

I'm just kidding, I won't actually do that. Besides, I'm too lazy to get out of bed, much less go on vacation. -.-

But- but what do you think is the thought she thought she can't un-think? *wow, that sentence actually makes grammatical sense*