The Black Parade ➸ Phan

four

[ We'll carry on ]

I always thought you liked me, even if it wasn't to the extent I liked you. I'd mess around, biting your shoulder and pushing you over but it was only because I liked you. You were feeling really insecure one day, so I made the spontaneous decision to book a train to Manchester. We stayed overnight in a small hotel. It wasn't much, but I remember how you snuggled up to me because you were cold.

You woke me up and took me to Starbucks the next morning, where you discovered what a caramel macchiato tasted like. You were in love, you told me jokingly. So was I, I thought - but it wasn't with an overpriced drink. We took them out and after 20 minutes of wandering, we found ourselves at the Manchester Eye. We had some change, so why not?

You said you were afraid of heights, but you'd been on the eye before and you weren't scared; you were brave. I told you that I'd be there so you didn't need to be brave. The smile you returned warmed my insides and burned my cheeks. I miss that smile.

The entire time, you held my hand. It was sweaty, and you looked generally nervous, eyebrows knitted together in apprehension. We reached the top, and I suddenly thought you were going to hug me. It wouldn't have been a bad guess because of your fear, until I felt Dan's lips press to mine. I tensed at first, until you hooked your arms around my neck.

It seems super cheesy, but unlike other kisses I'd had in the past, it meant something. Sparks ran through every vein in my body, and I slowly felt our heartbeats align. Everything slotted together.

As you pulled away, I felt you smile against my lips before looking shyly at your feet. You made my heart do that flippy-over thing, and it had never done that before.

You tried to speak, but I managed to stop you, leaning in and...

God, Dan. I'm emotional writing this. I miss your kisses and how you tasted of starbucks and how you always made sure I was close to you because you were jealous in the best way possible.

Only afterwards did I realise that it was your first proper kiss, and how you'd always been scared of rejection. You beat two fears that day for me, and it made me feel like the luckiest person in Manchester.