Everything Is Ephemeral - phan

2/6

Phil Lester has a secret crush.

There's just one, well, two, well, many problems.

Problem number one: it's a guy.

Problem number two: his best friend, Lucas, bullies him.

Problem number three: Phil will get his face smashed in by Lucas if he admits his crush.

And that is three of the many, many problems which stand in between Phil Lester's crush. When Phil sees him alone, when Phil stands there as he gets bullied, when Phil sees the scars on his arms, when Phil sees Dan so sad he feels himself fall apart.

Phil is tired of hiding how he feels. He wants to see Dan happy, he wants to see Dan smile. He wants to see Dan how he was when they used to be friends; happy, sarcastic, witty and laughing constantly. But that changed when Phil found he had to.

All Phil wanted to do was fit in and be popular; but he was so caught up in becoming a popular guy that he lost Dan on the way, and then somewhere along the line, Dan lost himself.

Phil betrayed Dan, he tossed Dan aside in an attempt to climb the popularity ladder, which he did successfully. But now, at the top of the ladder, Phil is unhappy; he's always disliked heights anyway. Phil still misses Dan, and he wishes he had his friendship back. Everything about Dan Phil, for some reason, loved.

Long story short: Phil has a huge crush on Dan Howell.