Chapter Twenty Three

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My back arched against the rough brick wall. I know the red brick must leave scarlet grazes on my skin, but I can’t feel it. I breathe onto the pale skin of her neck, and I can feel tiny beads of sweat forming on her skin. Collecting together like miniscule, burning raindrops. Trickling down her body, my body. Us. Her hands either side of my head as she almost pins me to the wall, her chest barely millimetres away from mine. My hands lost in her hair. My eyes closed, lost in the moment. 

She’s kissing along my collarbones, down the gentle curves of my shoulders. And her hands are going down too. Her fingernails too long, leaving red lines along my ribs, the grainy grit from the wall clinging to her palms. Scraping rough like sandpaper on my skin. She’s inching closer, her chest pressing against my own as she takes tiny, panting breaths. And now she’s fumbling with the button on my jeans, her bruised fingers shaking as I hold the back of her neck tight, pulling her lips down to crash against my own once again. But Cheryl is biting my bottom lip in frustration and her hands shake again. And she whimpers in pain.

“Cheryl-” I murmur onto her lips. I don’t think she can hear me. Or maybe she’s not listening. 

“I c-can’t Kim, oh god, m-my hands hurt-” she moans, stammering, and I can hear the pain in her voice as it wrinkles across her forehead. She struggles to force the words from her throat. I kiss her top lip gently. Softly. Caressing her skin. I wish that I could take her pain away. 

“Come here-” I hold her hands, dropping tiny single kisses along her bruised fingers, watching as she flexes them. “Cheryl?” I whisper her name softly, leaning forwards and running my hands through her hair. 

“What?” she frowns. I watch as tiny wrinkles form across her forehead, and she traces her fingers over the curves of my lips. I can feel my breath condensing into tiny droplets of water as it crashes onto her skin. Her touch is hot, but I still shiver.   

“I don’t want to hurt you-” I whisper.

“Shh...” she kisses me. And I can feel her smiling onto my lips. I close my eyes. She moves slowly now. Her hands are gentle on my body and her lips never leave my own as she unzips my jeans, carefully peeling the thick fabric from my body. Letting me wriggle out of them. Leaving my jeans scrunched on the concrete. Leaving my doubts scrunched beside them. And I’ve never felt so sure about anything before. Because this is what I want. I want her. 

Kisses. Slow, long kisses. Suddenly, dizzyingly, we don’t need to breathe. Her chest rises and falls mere millimetres. Her breath tastes of hot cigarettes and burning life. Slowly twisting up my mind until I have no idea who I am anymore. And I don’t even care. And my hands barely shake as she lets me peel her out of her jeans, and she wriggles. Her muscles flexing. Her thighs warm as she pulls me close. Her hands are cold. She kisses my neck, and her lips are hot. Hot and bittersweet, like burning tears.   

“Can I?” She whispers. I don’t know what she’s asking permission for, but I don’t reply. I just arch my back, feeling her lips pressing once again onto the pale ridges of my collarbones. 

And in an instant her hands are covering my skin. Unfastening my bra and placing quick, smouldering kisses onto my skin. I wriggle happily, my eyes closed, my chest heaving. Her hands moving carefully over my stomach, carving soft lines onto my skin with her fingernails. Her hands go lower. Too low. Pulling my black thong over my hips. Kissing me too quickly. And we’re moving so fast, but I know that I’ll remember every single second. Because I’ve never felt like this before. The way her lips feel against my own. The way her body moves is an art form. Her hands too cold, her lips too hot. Her hands. Her teasing touch. Her gentle fingers. 

“Oh god-“

And I stop breathing. There suddenly isn’t enough air in the whole glowing world. I arch my back. My sweat, her sweat. My body. Screaming. My pounding heartbeat and her ragged breathing. Taking me to the very very edge of the world. Leaving me sweating and writhing on hot leather. Halfway to forever. One moment. One second, and my body is ripped apart by wave after wave of boiling pleasure. Her tongue tastes of glittery infinity. Better than any fizzing pill. Because she never stops kissing me. My sweat, her sweat, it covers my skin. I can’t breathe. The world is glowing red, and I can feel my heart beating everywhere, filling up my head with noise.     

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