Raised Mateless (On Hold)

Chapter 12

The plush green grass and sound of running water from the creek at the edge of our yard once held a tranquil feeling for me. Now it only made me more uneasy of what I was about to do.

Ryan, if you can hear me, I really need you to keep our son strong right now. God, I need you here so much. Please, don’t let me be making a mistake. I pleaded in my mind; silently praying someone could hear me and would stop me if I was going to regret my decision.

“Momma, what’s going on?” Dakota’s voice held a mature edge to it, feeding to my resolve that he could handle this.

I bent down to sit on the ground, patting on the spot beside me, waiting for Dakota to sit. He did, and I cleared my throat – brushing away any evidence that I had once been crying. “Koda, you’re always asking me why you’re taller than everyone in your class, why other kids only read picture books, or why Grandpa doesn’t let you play with his colourful stones.”

Dakota’s eyes were lit with wonder as I talked, clearly engrossed with finally getting answers. “Grandpa said they were for healing people. I thought if I used them on you, it would make you happy when you’re sad.”

I smiled down at my little boy, feeling pride swell in my chest at his confession. “They’re not used for that, baby. Grandpa would use them to make were– ah – people feel better when they were sick or injured.” Dakota nodded, furrowing his eyebrows, urging for me to continue with his intense expression. “Grandpa wasn’t a doctor for normal people, Koda, just people like us.”

“Like us?” He echoed, his face turning one of confusion.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “Dakota, I need you to promise me not to ever be afraid of me, okay? I would never hurt you, baby, I swear.” My words rang with sincerity as I tried to convey the weight of the situation to my four year old son.

Dakota’s frown deepen as he listened to my words, “I would never be scared of you.”

I stood up, holding my hand out to motion for him to stay sitting where he is. “Honey, we aren’t like other families; we’re special. We call ourselves shifters because we’re part animal – part wolf.”

 Kai, it’s time. I mentally called within my mind, I felt her reply rather than heard it as my skin started to heat and my heartbeat quicken. The familiar tingle I felt brush across my skin soon turned to the dreaded feeling of my flesh being set on fire. I forced my eyes to stay closed and bit my tongue to keep my pain my own, and to keep from scaring Dakota any more than I already had.

As the fleeting pain vanished, I opened my eyes to find my eye level lowered and masked in a silver sheen. I could tell from the dazed look in Dakota’s eyes he was trying to process what was happening. At least he wasn’t crying or running away screaming.

“Momma?” He whispered, slowly lifting his hand towards my face.

Kai nodded our rather large head, leaning closer to Dakota till his hand met our snout. I felt Kai’s purr rumble throughout our chest as she basked in the feel of our cub running his hand through our fur. He lunged forward then, wrapping both of his small arms around our neck.

“This is so cool.” I heard him whisper. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding that whole time, finally getting this burden off my shoulders.

Kai, nudge him please, I want to shift back. I thought, speaking to her through our mental bond. Kai dropped our head down to gently push against Dakota. His eyes widened as he quickly retreated back to his sitting position, his hands in his lap.

I felt my father’s presence before I saw him walk over and pick up Dakota. He nodded at me, a small smile on his face, before turning and bringing Dakota back into the kitchen.