Brand New Eyes

I Scraped My Knees While I Was Praying...

So, after coming out of the bathroom stall, I made my way over to the sinks. I started washing my hands, looking at myself in the mirror. This was getting to be so stressful. But, then I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I questioned myself, wondering why someone would be knocking on a public restroom. But, I went over to the door and when I opened it, there stood Taylor.

“Oh, hey. Did you…?” “Yeah. They're in the car now. We've gotta go. What exactly happened, Hayley?” “Well…” Then, I was interrupted by Zac saying, “Come on, guys. Let’s go.” So, I sighed and Taylor just said that, if it was okay, we could talk over at my house. I nodded and agreed to it, even though I felt bad about continuously pushing back my private time with Chad.

We walked back over to the door and out to the parking lot in silence. I hoped that Zac wasn’t upset with me and especially Josh. I didn’t do that for my own personal enjoyment; I did it to help him. When we got outside, there was Josh standing there, and I almost was worried to even approach him because I thought he was gonna yell at me about the bathroom scene. But, he didn’t… He just said, “Guys, I'm sorry. But, Jenna is too upset and emotional to be in the same car as Hayley right now. I know that it sounds ridiculous, and I tried to talk her into letting you get in the car, but I also think it's safe that you don't.” “So, how do you expect me to get home, Josh? My car’s still in your driveway.” I asked. He said, “I called Jeremy and he said he’d come pick you up.” “Didn’t he say he had plans?” “Yes, but I really had to tell him what happened for him to understand the importance.” I just rolled my eyes and whispered to Taylor, saying, “He can't be serious. Can he?” Taylor just looked down at me and shrugged his shoulders. “Fine. I hope your girlfriend’s happy.” I said, before turning around and sitting on the outside bench to wait for Jeremy. “C’mon, guys.” Josh said. “Zac, you can go ahead. I'm staying Hayley. I don't wanna leave her here all alone.” He said okay and left with Josh. I watched Taylor walk back over to me and I just hid my face behind my hands.

“So, tell me, Troublemaker. What’d you say to Jenna?” he asked. I just looked up at him and shook my head, then hiding my face again, with a smile on my face. “What? Was it that bad?” he asked. I put my hands down and said, “No. I just told her that she was making it really hard for me to fix my relationship with Josh.” “That’s it, Hayley. I thought I heard something about ‘Don't make me make your life a living hell’. I may be wrong or…” “Oh, no.” I said, realizing how so out-of-character that sounded coming from someone else saying it about me. “I can't imagine you doing that Hayley.” “Well, I can't believe I said that.” “Wait, so you actually said that?” he said, sitting up and leaning forward to get a look at my face that was turned away from him. “Something along those lines.” I said, nonchalantly. “Ooh. Hayley, this is gonna be hard to fix. You know that Josh loves her, right? Like, so, so much.” “Yes, Taylor. Thanks for elaborating.” “Sorry. I didn’t think…” “No, it's fine.” I say, wanting to just stop talking about it. We sat in silence for 30 seconds, before he spoke up again. “Can I ask a question?” “Yeah, sure.” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “Did something happen between you and Josh recently?” “What? No. Why would say that?” “I just… I don't know. Forget it. I don't wanna be nosy.” “We’re best friends, Taylor. You can never be too nosy.” “Well, I don't know. It's like you guys are in this very awkward place. BUT, at the same time, I can't help but notice the way Josh looks at you.” I turned toward him and looked at him confused. “The way he looks at me? Like, what way does Josh ever look at me, besides with annoyance or the regular bored face he has?” “I don't know. It's just… would you tell me if something happened recently?” “Well… actually, before you guys came over, we got into an argument about, you know, the usual disagreements we have and…” “No, no, no. Zac and I could guess that from a mile away. We could feel the tension when we walked in. But, I don't know… I feel like you’d be upset if I just flat out said it.” “Just say it, Taylor. I promise to not get mad.” “Okay. Well, since you promised… when I say ‘did anything happen between you two’, I mean did “anything” happen…” he says, with air quotes. “I don't under… wait, what? You mean like… what? Wait, you mean like recently? Like, since our breakup?” “Yeah… I guess.” “No, Taylor. Not at all. Why would you say that?” “I told you. The way Josh acts around you. It's like he still wants you, even though we all know that no one can have you now because you're with Chad.” “Well… yeah. Duh. We had to for the band.” “Are you really that oblivious, Hayley or…?” “Well, no. He kind of made it obvious that he still had feelings for me, but he never really said it…” “Like how?” “He kept asking me if I still had some sort of feelings for him. And how it was hard for him to not randomly kiss me at times. You know?” “Are you serious?” “Very.” “Wow. I knew I wasn’t hallucinating.” “Yeah. So, that’s that.” “Well, I hate that he’s taking in all your trying energy to fix you guys’ relationship, transferring it into jealousy or something, and then reciprocating with bad energy. I mean, you're trying so hard to do this, and obviously no one’s completely innocent of the band mess-ups, but it's just really difficult between you two. You guys are so different now.” “I know. It's like a love/hate thing. We agree upon and can enjoy each other for a while, until he brings up something controversial. Or, in this case, brings something controversial.” “Yeah… Hopefully, we’ll be better fitted when we get in the studio, like Zac said.” “Something like that…”

Then, we hear a honking horn and look, seeing Jeremy’s truck. We stand up and walk over and get in. I get in the front seat with Jeremy, while Taylor takes the back middle seat. “So, what's up with you, troublemaker?” Jeremy asks.