"Your mother?"
I nodded, tears beginning to form again.
"She was all I had left…now I have no one …"
His body did not move. The horse did not move. Something in his stance changed, however. Just because he didn't look human didn't automatically mean that there wasn't empathy somewhere there … right?
"What happened to her?"
The discomfort in his voice was obvious. He was used to dealing with grown men coming at him with weapons, not little girls. I tried to recompose myself, but it was hard with the dark weight that had settled itself firmly on my chest and in my stomach.
"Raiders … they stabbed her and were looking for stuff…" I choked out, "…they didn't have to…we didn't have anything to be taken …"
On the word "taken", my voice broke and I fell apart again. The sudden realisation that I was just one little girl in a huge world was striking me with a vengeance.
"Get up."
The command was hard as steel. Surprised, I stood on trembling legs. I would have been angry if I hadn't been so overwhelmed by his tone. Wasn't it enough that I'd handed him my innocence? It made me cold on the inside. I remembered my mother telling me that you belong to the man that you give yourself to.
He roughly seized me from under my chin until I was staring up into his lightning-colored eyes with my own black ones.
"Stop crying."
I tried to contain my sniffles, but it was difficult. His fingers traced my face roughly. It seemed like a very impersonal gesture; he was wearing thick gloves. With one hand, he hauled me off the ground. Frightened, I clung to his arm. The shovel clinked after I'd dropped it, hitting a rock nearby.
He set me down on his lap and the horse turned, eyeing him questioningly for a moment.
His hands ran up and down my body. I was somehow insulted by his gesture, especially when his hands left my legs and found my breasts.
"It is good that you are so skinny," he remarked.
That surprised me. Most men liked women with curvier figures.
"Why…?" I warily asked.
"I have an idea."
I didn't like the sound of that at all. He set me down and I smoothed out my dirty, tattered skirts. This was shaping up to be a genuinely terrible night.
"Pet my horse."
Staring at him with a puzzled look, I cautiously laid a hand on the giant horse's muzzle. The creature lowered its head and looked me directly into the eyes.
"You're not going to try to kill me, are you?" I stupidly asked.
He didn't. I scratched behind his ears and he tilted his head towards my fingers. I jumped when a roar of laughter came from his imposing rider.
"Impressive," he remarked.
I don't think I could have looked more confused not even if I tried.
"He does not like other people," the Hessian informed me, "he will bite, kick, buck, and otherwise injure anyone who comes near him. I used to be the only one who could touch him … until now."
The horse seemed to be enjoying me petting him. He didn't act particularly vicious towards me, at least not yet.
"What do I have to do?" I asked, resigned to my fate. There was no point in dragging it out. I could crumble and die right here or I could try to go on. Mother would have wanted me to go on.
The Hessian grinned.
"Whatever I tell you."
My hesitated only for a moment. The Hessians took no thought for the morrow. It would be a hard life. On the other side, I would be free, but with no certitude that I would stay alive. How much longer would the bread he'd given me last? A day? Two days at most? The golden coins would mean nothing if I couldn't find a store to buy from. The nearest town was three days away.
"Do we have a deal?" he asked.
My small, trembling hand closed around his larger one. I was surprised when he swung off of his horse. The sound of his sword being unsheathed made me cringe.
"What are you doing?" I asked, frightened.
He grabbed hold of my hair and in one swipe had most of it cut off. I stared open-mouthed at the heap of it laying on the snow.
"I will not have you distracting my men. They are difficult enough to control as thing are."
My wavy auburn hair didn't even reach my shoulders. It was short enough to be mistaken for a boy's. The cold air hit my exposed neck and I shuddered. A pile of clothing was thrust into my arms.
"Change into these."
I stared, open-mouthed. The temperature was below freezing.
"Do it," he snapped impatiently.
"All right, fine," I muttered. To my irritation, I had to hold onto him for support. Getting into the trousers was awkward. It didn't help me that his big smile said I already know what you look like naked.
It was a uniform. A Hessian uniform. I noticed there was a hole near the shoulder.
"A young one, about your age," he said, nearly reading my thoughts, "he met his match yesterday."
The look on my face made the Hessian chuckle. I was not thrilled about wearing a dead man's uniform in the slightest.
He pulled me onto his horse again and nudged him forward. Everything about this situation felt awkward and unnatural. I felt like I was about to slide off the stallion any second despite the soldier's strong arms around me.
"What is your name?" he asked.
"Ruth," I answered.
"Not anymore."
"What am I to be called, then?" I asked, feeling that this was getting unnecessarily complicated.
"You will be called 'Adalhard'. 'Adal' for short."
"What does it mean?"
"The first one means 'brave', the second means 'noble'. It is a way to disguise you, as the second is actually a girl's name."
Clever. I was somewhat grateful not to be stripped completely of my femininity.
"Why do I need a boy's name?" I asked.
"If there is a woman around our camp, what do you think men would react ?"
"They can't be that bad," I protested, "men aren't animals."
He chuckled. I felt the vibration through his leather armor as well as hearing it right in my ear. It made me shudder despite the warmer clothes.
"You would be surprised," he mumbled.
It felt strange to walk in boots that were calf-length. They were a little bit too big, so my feet slipped and slid around in them. I hoped no one noticed the hole in the uniform shirt; maybe I could mend it later. I certainly didn't want bullet holes around. He had stopped the horse a little way from camp.
"Do not speak unless you are spoken to, do not undress until you are sure you won't be seen, and do not try to get out of our little deal or I will not have mercy on you. Tomorrow, I will have to start training you and I will not tolerate disobedience. Any questions?"
"So I'm a soldier now?" I asked dumbly.
"You are pretending but I will treat you as I treat the others. I may require other things from you at times, but not for now. It would make them suspicious."
He waited, seeing I was opening my mouth again.
"Why are you doing this? Why go trough so much trouble for someone like me?" I asked.
He smirked.
"I have my reasons."
Chapter Two
Start from the beginning
