***Sydney's P.O.V.***
While killing things wasn't exactly a favorite pastime of mine, it was something that was necessary. The chase seemed cruel, taunting prey with your close proximity and letting them get away for a moment just to give them a false sense of hope before you snapped down on them. It was all too much to handle when you were back to being human and in control, but it drove any wolf up the wall with a twisted kind of happiness. They lived and breathed for the hunt.
Being a hybrid was worse; the instinct to hunt was about ten times stronger and any wolf that wasn't inherently weak or submissive was immediately threatened by my presence. My senses ran rampant whenever I was changed, and that was frustrating because there was nothing I hated more than not being able to control what I was doing. When you change it's something you can control, but the second that the wolf takes over all bets are off. You're at the mercy of your sensitive eyes, ears, and nose that leads you to wherever the easiest prey is.
Then, when all is said and done, you're willing yourself back into something civilized, and there's blood dripping down your chin from the poor little animal that hadn't had time to get away. And that was what I really hated; I hated the reminder left by the crimson liquid, the overwhelming taste of metal, and the buzzing in my bones caused by left over adrenaline. It was revolting on most days and it made me want to curl into a ball and dwell in thoughts of the past that I was still trying to forget about. If I only had to worry about my own wellbeing, I would have let myself shrivel up and die a long time ago; hell, I would've been content with just staying changed until there was no going back. However, that would never be an option thanks to the whole twisted concept of soul mates.
I didn't just have myself to worry about; due to the natural order of the world, I was bound to some person in the world with a bond so strong that if I died I would be bringing them along with me. It was just how the system worked; you feel the pain of your soul mate and they feel your pain as well. And, if one of you dies, well the other is just as screwed. Whoever I was bonded to was just lucky that they couldn't feel the emotional hell that I went through every single day.
There was also the fact that I had to look out for Colin; he was a feeble and docile werewolf fledgling that I had stumbled on only a year before when I was bounding through the coverage of a patch of woods in southern Idaho. I had been so adamant about wanting to be a lone wolf around that time; it just seemed easier than getting caught up in a pack that might turn against me as soon as I changed. I had already caused enough damage by doing something like that, and I didn't want to hurt any more people than I already had. However, I knew that I couldn't just leave him there to die—because that was the inevitable fate of any weak werewolf that didn't have a pack—and that was what had caused me to modify my lone wolf way of life.
My goal for the past year was to make it to Canada before I was tracked down and killed for the stupid mess that I had caused on my first changing. It should have been an easy task; I should have crossed the border a long time ago. However, I had made multiple mistakes along the way that just completely fucked up all of my efforts. The responsibility of trying to survive on my own and make the right decisions when I had only just started to understand what being a hybrid meant was so daunting. I wanted to run away from it, and I had tried to on several occasions on my road to Canada, but running didn't keep you alive for very long. And, as much as I hated the stress brought along by the responsibility, I really preferred to be stressed and alive than listless and dead.
No matter the circumstances, changing from the complete hybrid form to your average person was my least favorite part of life. There was just something about the change that made my whole body feel indescribably dirty. It would take one quick dip in a nearby pond or lake to wash away the physical grime picked up from running through the woods, but the emotional gunk that came with the change would always be there in the back of my mind. It stuck with me throughout most of the day, ebbing in the sparse moments of happiness whenever Colin and I were able to relax, but then hitting me with full force as soon as my mind stopped on it for a fraction of a second. And, as much as I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to do about it or that it was completely natural, the feeling was guaranteed to be somewhere in my muddled thoughts.
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If We Try (Niall Horan-Vampire Fan Fiction)
Romance"If I had known what I was getting myself into, I might have figured out what I had done wrong." ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ To everyone in the world, Niall Horan looked like he had it all. He would even say it was true; well, if he had...
