Rise [Bruno Mars]

Chapter fifty-one

Chapter fifty-one

dri, the note said, wait for me.

Then, written underneath, almost like an afterthought:

wait for me.

*

Dr. Ali came in. She inspected my body to ensure the fluid was not malfunctioning. I almost told her I wished it burned me from the inside out until I wasted into dust, but I held my tongue. Instead, I thanked her. She'd done Bruno's procedure and left Damascus so quickly we hadn't the chance to give our appreciation.

"If I knew what was waiting for me," she muttered, sticking a pen in her tightly coiled hair, "I would've never left."

My heart skipped at her blatant defiance. The tiny piece of paper hidden in my bra fluttered against the tip of my nipple with each breath. I wanted to tell her that I would dismantle and take. I held my tongue for that, as well.

On the topic of him, Dr. Ali asked of Bruno's doing. "You haven't seen any veins on him, have you?" She backtracked, claiming I couldn't have since winter remained and most likely he had been fully clothed ninety-nine percent of the time.

"No," I said. "No, I would've still seen them."

We laughed after a meaningful pause. It felt both good and awful to laugh.

When the awfulness won over, Dr. Ali pulled me in for a hug and patted my cheek. I began to furiously miss my mother.

Jane brought lunch. I looked underneath the pasta topped with diced herb and tomato, the salad colored with red and yellow pepper, the sliced avocados, but a note was nowhere to be seen. While Jane poured a cup of tea, I peeked underneath the kettle, only to discover a silver sleek bottom. "Jane?"

She acknowledged me in a soft voice that set me in unease. "Yes, Miss Adrian?"

Should I ask her if she'd seen a piece of paper on the food cart? That wasn't a rather smart move. What if she told her leader? But what if she had already seen it and taken it? When I discovered the note, camouflaging with the napkins, Jane seemed routine. No particular goading could incite an other than robotic response from her. She did as she was told to do: serve.

And oh God, how it angered me.

"Never mind."

"Your lunch is served."

"Thank you, Jane."

She dipped her head and left the room. I searched the cart once, twice, thrice. No note. No messy scrawl. Just a midday meal.

*

dri, your mind is chaotic. there's nothing you can do but hide a mayhem behind another.

*

"You will become sick." Dr. Ali listened to my heart and checked my blood pressure, then scribbled across her clipboard. "Your body will try to fight off the fluid, and you'll be sick then. A fever is a good sign."

I wanted to tell her that I was already sick. Instead I told my body:

You are fighting a losing war.

*

Jane revealed a fluffy yellow pastry, a strawberry dunked into its creamy chocolate layering.