This is my entry for N.K.POCKETT'S book 'Marriage by law' celebrating the book's one year anniversary.
***
I was in my 34th week of pregnancy and my stomach looked like it could pass for a bag of helium about to float away or burst if it got pricked by anything sharp.
No exaggeration here.
"Trying to sneak into the kitchen and eat a tub of ice-cream again?"
Adrian stood in the doorway with a bag of potato chips in his hands. Oh, how I wish I could swap places with him and make him deliver my baby while I sit and eat all the things I have been banned from eating to keep the baby healthy.
All I keep hearing is "Don't do this don't do that. Don't raise your arms above your shoulder or your umbilical cord will tangle itself around your baby's neck and kill it" I kid you not but these were the knowledgeable words given to me by my mother.
"Why would I sneak into my own kitchen? In fact, I should be questioning you about stealing MY FOOD! Not the other way round."
I opened the fridge and noticed that my bags of assorted chocolates were missing and the butterscotch cake I had baked in the middle of the night was also not there.
"You thief" I cried at Adrian and he threw the now empty packet of chips in my direction and screamed like a little kid who was caught doing something he shouldn't have.
"I was helping you by eating the food so that when you don't see the things you like, you won't crave for it."
I didn't chase after him because my feet were aching me so I laid down on the couch in an un-lady like manner and decided to take revenge on him later by making him change my baby's diapers and other things.
"This silence of yours is creeping me out. Are you going to suddenly attack me? Oh, wait why you would even tell me about your secret planning to kill me."
Adrian kept babbling and I wished I had the energy to walk up to him and staple his mouth. Why can he behave like a mature adult even for once?
The blare of my phone tuned out Adrian's voice and I glanced at my phone from my peripheral vision to see that Dairy was calling me. The gadget kept vibrating and I glared at it.
"If you are really a smartphone then you should walk up to me in my hands instead of making me walk up to you and pick you up. Why the hell are you even called smart when you can't do smart stuff?"
I babbled to my phone and it just seemed unaffected by my glare and then blare of my phone went off.
"You silenced yourself so that you don't have to reply to me? I am your master so you should listen to me."
I was getting fat, my hormonal levels were swinging, and I was craving for things that I was restricted from eating and a buffoon was stealing my favorite stash of food and my slaves were not listening to me. Nope, I was not pissed nor have I gone crazy. I was happy as a rainbow colored unicorn and I... NEED TO PEE SO BADLY.
I forgot all about my aches and dashed to the bathroom stall. The after relief sensation swam over me and I mindlessly pulled the water tap to wash my hands when it got loose and water started dripping out.
"HELP! ADRIAN! THE WATER BROKE DOWN!" I screamed and I heard a few things getting knocked over in the living room.
"Shit! Don't worry, stay in there. I informed Darius about your situation and he is on the way. I will call the ambulance also."
Why the hell did he call Darius? Does he even know how to fix broken taps? Why in the world was he going to call an ambulance?
"Why did you call Dairy? Why do we need an ambulance? I think you can help me out here just fine!"
I heard Adrian rattling the door knob and he entered the bathroom with flushed cheeks.
"WHY ARE YOU EVEN STANDING? I WILL CARYY YOU TO THE BED. WAIT CAN YOU EVEN STAND OR LAY DOWN. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I CAN'T HELP YOU TO POP YOUR BABY."
"Why are you screaming? Only the damn tap broke from my grasp and the water broke out that's why I called you. Why in the world did you call Dairy for that?"
Adrian looked at me, my protruding belly then his gaze fell over the wash basin where the water was dripping from the broken tap.
"Oh. Your water did not break down. I thought..."
"ALUMINIUM! AM I LATE? WILL WE HAVE TO DELIVER THE BABY IN OUR HOUSE?"
Adrian and I hadn't even heard Dairy approaching us till he screamed in a frantic voice. He looked like he ran for a marathon.
"I called a doctor and he is also on the way." He spoke to me in slow motion and began massaging my shoulders and murmured sweet nothings to me asking me to calm down.
"Uhh Dairy, The water of the tap broke down. My water did not break down."
If looks could kill then Adrian would have been 10 feet underground. Darius marched in front of the now screaming Adrian and I couldn't help but wonder if someone would help me to stop this damn water from flowing.
