Don't tell me nonsense

reacquainted

Jermaine had thought over everything Esther had said even though she had not said much what she said spoke volumes, he didn't respect her the way he said he did. He was just another one of those youths in his baby boy bliss. He didn't want to fall into the category of the 'baby boy' so he reached out a hand.

"Esther, I'm sorry I know you won't accept my apology but I am." She turned to face him with an unreadable expression on her face with her arms folded. He could tell she was not impressed- she looked like the typical moody black girl, but she wasn't, not to him she wasn't.

He loved her smile, her laugh, the way she could hold a conversation with him without the meaningless silences that usually filled rooms of teens when there were better things to do like see if the Wi-Fi connected. He wanted so bad for her to be his, but that meant him being hers and abandoning the baby boy lifestyle, the serial monogamy or should he say polygamy. Jermaine looked at Esther and saw who he wanted, who he needed. He yearned to be the one that made her smile and laugh, the one to wipe her tears when times get rough. He wanted to do all those things yet he hurt her with his actions and spoke of unseen truths with his tongue.

She deserved better than him it was obvious, but he was convinced he could be the one for her; the one she'd ride off into the sunset with to have a 'happy ever after', so he tried, he pulled her in close and stared at her looking for something in her eyes was, his eyes pouring into hers trying to see if there were any feelings there. Love behind the pain? To see if he wasn't the only one feeling this way; feeling compelled to kiss her, to hold her, to be her man?

Esther feeling self-conscious bit her lip and tucked a loose braid behind her ear wondering if he could tell she was due to take out her hair with all that regrowth making her braids look untidy. As much as Esther wanted to say she did not care for this boy she knew she did, she was already feeling she was not up to par- trying to fix up her appearance small small.

She longed to know what he was thinking, feeling. She wanted to know if he was thinking of her because she was thinking of him. As his eyes poured into hers, she faltered under his gaze, her knees buckled and she felt a rush in her stomach and she was sure it wasn't her baby. Jermaine moved his hands from his sides and attached them to her waist pulling her towards him so that they were pelvis to pelvis, she could smell his cool breath and cologne that made her nauseous, but it honestly wasn't that bad when she took in the amazing view she had – he was gorgeous. Contemplating on accepting his apology, they felt it; this pull as if the universe agreed that it was meant to happen, so they had no choice either that or this was their choice. Esther got up on her tip toes while Jermaine lowered his tall frame gently onto her lips; they both got a small taste of heaven. Now they wanted a taste of sin; deepening the kiss they both felt each other slowly slipping into their own world, their world was good but they'd have to come back soon. Pushing her hands against his chest, Jermaine knew she was tapping out and had finally caught touch with reality.

Looking up she smiled at him with bright eyes, they told no lie; there was something there.

Jermaine, Jermaine, Jermaine. Fucking Jermaine. I've been sitting all through this revision session with him on my mind. Honestly, he is all I can think about. I sat back in my chair and just thought back to the how we just 'coincidentally' 'bumped' into each other via prescription, stupid prescription, if not for that I would be able to revise with ease; recalling facts and information instead all I could recall a name.

"What's on your mind?" I blinked touching down in reality.

"Nothing much my peoples." I lied unconvincingly trying to take the laid back approach to that question; the 'I'm too cool for school.' It was utterly cringe worthy you could see the lie right across my face like a grin on a Cheshire cat.

"You haven't been able to answer one question, the only reply you could give was a 'sorry what'." I squinted at Shai and felt my top lip curl up at her very bad impression of me. I mean come on I do not sound like a man, why so much bass?

"okay?" I gave her a little eyeball.

"Best believe I will tump your arse here in the library, better get rid of that attitude." Who's mum please? I discretely rolled my eyes again; it gave me a personal satisfaction instead of replying to the bush child shouting in the library.

"So I went to the hospital today, you guys know that, when I went I found out the sex of the baby got my prescription and everything." I paused, I just wanted to bathe in the moment, you know when all eyes are on you and you just have keep them wanting more. They've waited long enough I shall proceed.

"So I'm walking now and my prescription flies away, I'm trying to catch this prescription when it basically flies into someone's hands. Guess who?"

"Who bruv?" Cheyanne was getting a wee bit inpatient, like bitch I said guess trying to take all of the fun out of telling a story.

"G-U-E-S-S!"

"Anthony, Cleopatra, Tutankhamun." Cheyanne shouted this goat. Who told her to recite the Egyptian dynasties?

I popped a few grapes in my mouth and said Jermaine, they all stared at me for a minute waiting for me to clarify their doubts as in – 'did she say who I think she said?'

"So..." they all smiled at me expectantly.

"So I tried to walk away fast." They all started laughing like I was some type of joke.

"Come on Esther that was not a good move." It was worth a try. Note to self: don't try to outwalk people while you are pregnant.

"Anyway..." I rolled my eyes at Patrice, "he was like how he misses me and I just stopped him right there, reminded him of the fourteenth and tried to keep it moving you know." I tried to talk extremely fast so that they wouldn't hear all that I said and hopefully get this over as soon as possible. They all gave me questioning looks- what is the fourteenth? - Nothing like a good puzzle in the afternoon. Sudoku anyone, they were capable they would figure out soon enough.

"He apologised to me, and then we were standing there for ages staring at each other, then he kissed me, well we kissed each other, let's just say we both reciprocated a kiss, the kiss and oh yeah I forgot to say he held onto my arm to stop me from walking away. THE END." I stared at my friends anxiously awaiting their responses; it was the longest wait all I could do was try to plan for the impossible. Scenario A: Esther you're a complete slut or Scenario B: anything better than scenario A, so I was pretty set.

"Oh my gosh that is so cute, he apologised." I rolled my eyes why did Cheyanne have to be so 'I believe in happily ever after' about it. I mean it was just a kiss, no biggie.

"Lol for real, man like." Shai laughed like it was the best stand up she had ever heard.

"You two are so cute together you know, I remember when he used to come school and see you." I couldn't even speak now Patrice just had to sprinkle her fairy dust of nostalgia and now I was reminiscing. Damn, now my tear ducts are acting up darn hay fever.

"Aww babes don't cry." They cooed it just made me cry more, you don't call people up on their crying.

"I'm not crying," I sniffled, "my eyes are just watering." I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling as if I were trying to keep in eye drops.

"It's okay, we understand." Cheyanne tried to comfort me, but it only made me feel worse.

I was now full on crying in the library. "You don't understand I don't like him." they just nodded; I bet they were fed up of me, the crying pregnant lady so let's just nod to appease her.

"I mean like I don't want to like him or forgive him, but I just do and I don't want to, I want to have control over my emotions." I tried to catch a breath to calm down, "But whenever I'm with him he seems to evoke emotions I didn't even know I had." Anymore at least.