GUILTY (Gabe's Trials)

Going down with a boom

Of course she had to make things so damn hard for me. Of course Gabriel still controlled me. And of course he wouldn't let me move on. I'd never thought he would, really. I'd never even thought I would allow myself to move on...

$$$

I didn't make a sound on our way to the courthouse, making Ginger scowl at me. I knew she was wondering what was with all the silence. I knew she was becoming suspicious -maybe even more so than before. Yet I couldn't make myself find something to say to her. I felt betrayed by the person I was supposed to trust the most. How do you get over that?

"I'll pick you up at 5 and take you to see Lila." That wasn't a question, but I nodded my head nonetheless. Not that she was really going to pick me up though. I planned to find a cab to take me where I needed to go from now on, or better yet, rent a car of my own. It was moments like this that made me miss my Chevrolet. And my former life. "Is everything ok, judge?" I wanted to laugh at her. To tell her that nothing was ok.

"Everything's fine, Ginger. I'll see you at 5." I smiled and did my best to sound convincing, even though I was actually not going to see her. In fact, I had to start looking for an excuse for why I couldn't see her anymore. An excuse for avoiding her, more accuratelly, because that was exactly what I planned on doing. 

Opening the car's passenger door, I quickly climbed out, not giving my bodyguard the chance to say another word. Unfortunattely for me, Ginger was just as stuborn as Gabriel. I was already preparing myself for the argument that was coming my way.

I heard the door slam shut when she climbed out of the car and cringed, refusing to stop walking. A few moments was all it took for her to catch up with me and grab my wrist, turning me around and pulling me into her. Before I really knew what was happening her full, red lips had captured mine in a soft, lingering kiss. By the time she let go of me, my brain was a mess. Did I like that? Oh, yes, I did. And now you see why I said my brain was a mess. I was not into women, for fuck's sake, but there I was, realising I liked being kissed by one. So screwed up. My conscience mumbled and I finally gathered the courage to look up at the one woman who'd managed to leave me speachless.

"I had to do that. I'm sorry." I wasn't. What the fuck was wrong with me? "I'll see you at 5." She mumbled smiling and placed another quick peck onto my lips. Gabriel's face flashed before my eyes, his scent intoxicating me and that was when it hit me. It wasn't Ginger I thought about while she kissed me. It was Gabriel. She reminded me of him so much. And now, I felt as if I was both cheating on him and her. It wasn't fair for me to still think about him. Especially not while one of his proteges kissed me. God, that sounded so fucking wrong even to my own ears.

Quickly turning on her heels, Ginger started for the car, leaving me alone in the middle of the parking lot. I could've sworn I was flushed and ravaged and panic flooded me for a moment. How was I going to show up in court like that?

Lightly running my hands through my hair and pulling at my green, knee length, office dress, I started for the elevator, trying to stop thinking about what had just happened and hoping to God for nobody to notice my flustered form.

$$$

Brandon smiled at the sight of me, my old bailif a breath of fresh air after everything that I'd been through this morning.

"Your father's called me a couple of times, kiddo. He's worried about you." Not my father again. At first, when I had tried to call him, he refused to answer my calls, and now this? He really needed to make up his mind. But right now, I couldn't talk to him yet. Not anymore. I needed more time to heal.

"Thank you, Brandon. I'll make sure to call him later." No, I wasn't, but he didn't need to know that. Brandon was a good man. I knew that he would've tried to make me talk to him. My bailif nodded and smiled, opening the door to my office for me.