Out of Focus #SYTYCW15 Top10 Finalist! [COMPLETED]

32| Burned **Adult Content

Hot tears splashed against the back of her hand, angrily she pushed them away.

"We had to lose everyone. Everyone. Friends and family-even my fucking clothes. I had nothing. And for a long time I was no one. That was hard enough for me, but for those girls-do you have any idea what they've been through?"

And he didn't, Marshall realized. Not really. Jesus...his mind was a mess, struggling to process what sounded impossible and extraordinary. How could anyone who hadn't lived it, breathed it the way they had, truly understand? To know what that degree of sacrifice would demand? The strength and perseverance?

Was it any wonder he was in love with her?

"A couple years later we moved to Haven and finally, finally we were in a place where we could be. Just be. And live and breathe without fear and worry and questions. It wasn't easy, but I was making it work until you showed up. Now we'll have to leave."

"Eva. I don't see why-?" He reached for her when she rose but she pushed him away. All fire and raging sorrow.

"No, you don't see, fucking selfish bastard. Of course you don't see! Why would you? I've broken the law telling you all of this. And I won't-won't-lose my daughters because of you. I won't let CAS come in here and take them away. I am a damn good mother. I've fought too hard and too fucking long and I won't."

Because she was shaking, Marshall gathered her in, held her despite Eva's avid and furious attempts to strike him.

"I'm sorry." He stroked her back, kissed her neck. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeated it, over and over. A mantra, a prayer, a plea. And she broke. Sobbing, she clung to him. Finally, just finally letting the shield drop and all of that guilt, that horrible, awful and soul-consuming guilt pour out to saturate him until he shook with the potency of her pain.

"I had no right to push," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter." Eva pressed her hands to her face, a ruin of tears. Christ, she was tired. So damn tired, ravaged by emotional fatigue. "We'll have to leave Haven. Hailey will hate me even more then she already does. They'll be devastated. Even Lucy..."

"We can figure this out."Marshall skimmed his hands up her arms, gripped her shoulders. "I love you, do you hear me? I love you. No, don't shake you damn head." Frustrated he let her go, eased back a step.

"Let me use words you'll understand: I fucking love you, dammit, and I won't let you just pick up and leave. Yes, you're in protection, but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to live. To be happy. Haven is your home and I won't see you chased out of it."

"There's little choice in the matter. Once Catherine Clear takes her bit to the evening news...it'll be over."

"Catherine?"

Eva sighed, shrugging him off. "Yes, your ambitious ex-girlfriend door-stepped me this morning with a threatening phone call. Says I have you to thank for that." Stunned, Marshall could only blink. "Me? I...I called off the search, I stopped digging, I..." Closing his eyes, his heart dropped. Mouse. Catherine would know his sources, his contacts. And when your job was providing information, you didn't care who it went to as long as money was exchanged.

Eva told him all about the exchange, and the ticking clock looming over her head, the ensuing blow up with Jenelle.

Jesus. This was a shitstorrm of epic proportions. And his fault. Entirely his fault. Eva had told him, fought him at every turn-tried, in her taciturn sort of way-to tell him he was pushing a dangerous line, and he hadn't listened.