50 Shades Of Amy Lee

Chapter 20: The Morning After

        I rolled over onto my side and took one of the pillows on the couch behind me and put it over my face. The sun was already out and its blistering rays shot through the windows directly into my eyes, making my pupils retract quickly and sending wave after wave of pain through my sinuses and entire head. After a few minutes of laying there motionless and fighting off the urge to just roll over and go back to sleep, I found that my eyes had finally adjusted to the increasing brightness of the room. After a quick look around, I found Amy in the kitchen making breakfast.

       My head was pounding and I felt incredibly hung over. My entire body ached. I wrapped the warm blanket around my shoulders and slowly made my way to the bathroom, dragging my bare feet across the cold, wooden floors. Once in the bathroom, I changed into a pair of jeans and one of my old, gross, dull red hoodies that I had reserved for lazy days around the house. I threw my hair up into a pony tail and splashed some ice cold water on my face in an attempt to lessen the dark circles that had settled in under my eyes overnight.

       I walked out of the bathroom and tossed my clothes into the already overflowing hamper in the corner of my bedroom. I then walked out and took a seat at the kitchen table, placing my hands over my eyes, trying to lessen my headache by limiting how much light my eyes were exposed to. A cup of coffee was placed on the table in front of me. I quickly took the warm cup in my hands and took a sip -- it was completely black without sugar; just how I liked it. 

       "Thanks..." I mumbled, my voice deeper than usual because I wasn't fully awake.

       "No worries, hun," answered Amy cheerfully as she placed a bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal in front of me. Before I could even pick up a spoon, she pecked me on the cheek casually before finding her seat across from me. 

       I paused, completely still, and stared at her. She was acting as if this was a normal morning occurrence, as if it was already part of her routine. Shaking my head slightly, deciding not to say anything about it and just continue eating, I took my hand and wiped the spot on my cheek where she kissed before wiping my hand on my jeans.

       "How is it?" she asked.

       I spooned some apple cinnamon oatmeal into my mouth -- it was really sweet and just the right consistency. I swallowed the oatmeal and replied, "It's not too bad."

       After I had some time to drink most of my coffee and eat a little over half of my oatmeal, she continued, blushing, "You know... last night was really good."

       I looked up at her, puzzled. I had absolutely no idea as to what she could possibly be talking about. The previous night was a complete blur and any memories I had were fading fast as the remaining alcohol made its way out of my system. Maybe I showed her the trick my dad taught me in middle school? The one where I put paper cups on my ears and then wiggle them?

       She giggled, her face reddening. "You know..." she playfully hit my forearm.

       I wiped my mouth with a napkin and put my spoon down on the table. "I know what...?" I questioned, looking at her quizzically.

       "Oh, please, don't play dumb. You have to remember," she chuckled. "I've never had someone make love to me so passionately before."

       I felt my heart rate quicken drastically and all of the color drain from my face. My head began pounding harder than ever before and my hands were shaking. A wave of nausea hit me and crashed over my head and I took off running towards the bathroom, locking myself in before Amy could follow. There, I puked until I almost passed out and brushed my teeth until the bristles on my tooth brush were completely flattened and my gums bled. 

       What were you thinking, you idiot! I screamed at myself in my head as I repeatedly washed my hands under extremely hot water. 

       "Everything okay in there?" asked Amy from outside the door.

       I panicked and dried my hands on my hoodie. I needed to get away. I needed time to think. I needed time without temptation, time without Amy. I flung open the bathroom door and quickly walked over to the coat closet. There, I took out my peacoat  and threw it on over my hoodie. I grabbed a pair of whatever footwear I could find, which just happened to be my old hiking boots, and put on some black sunglasses.

       "Where are you going in such a hurry?" asked Amy.

       My eyes darted around the room, avoiding hers as I answered, "I need to get a new tooth brush."

       "Oh, I could use one, too. Mind if I tag along?" she asked.

       "No!" I replied quickly. "No... I mean... not now, anyway..."

       "Is there something wrong? You didn't like the oatmeal, did you?" she frowned.

       I sighed, pacing back and forth restlessly. "It's not that. Nothing is wrong. I need to get a tooth brush and that's all."

       "Oh, I get it," she smirked. "You're going to get something or plan something for us! You're the best!" 

       She got on her tiptoes and wrapped her hands around my waist, puckering her lips, getting ready for a kiss. I panicked and casually moved my face away before slowly putting my hands on her shoulders and gently pushing her away as well. 

       Her happy expression faded to a concerned and sad one. "Ana...?" she asked quietly, looking up at me.

       "I'm sorry..." I replied solemnly as opened the door, walked out and slowly closed it behind me. 

       You're such a fuck-up, kid, I thought to myself as I walked down the hallway, hands in the pockets of my coat.