Blame It On Life..

9- Too much for a day.

After yesterday's long, relaxing trip, we fell asleep into each other's arms so peacefully and quietly. I wake up early in the morning tired to the sound of the alarm. "Morning baby!" I say and Ryan's cheek when I see him checking time with a one opened eye.

"Morning.." He says tiredly with a groan and rub his eyes.

"Come on lazy head..wake up!" I quietly smile and run my fingers softly and slowly on his body before I start tickling him fast laughing. He laughs and try to catch my hands but I don't let him till he sit up and squeeze me tigh in his arms laughing.

"Okay okay fine !" He giggles and peck my lips, now already wide awake. "I love you." He says softly staring in my eyes.

"I love you too." I giggle and stand up from bed after releasing myself from his arms. "I'm going to shower baby." I say picking some clothes before walking in the bathroom. During my shower I think about how easily he let me go this time, he said he gets tired with more effort and with all the tickling I must've hurt his heart by making it beat too much. "Stupid.." I sigh softly before I remember that I didn't remind him of hia pill and fell asleep so fast yesterday. "Shit!" I finish my shower quickly and get out on him taking some pills. I tear up and walk over to him and kiss his forehead all dressed already. "I'm so so sorry!" I felt like I wanted to cry now as I hugged him so tightly to my body.

"Hey..." He frowns and cup my cheeks to look at me. "I'm taking them, see ?" He smiles at me gently trying to reassure me.

"No I was so tired yesterday, I even fell asleep without reminding you of your pill..I'm so sorry I promise I will be more careful!" I hold him tight, so afraid because he told me that this pill before he sleeps is the most important.

"It's okay babe, don't worry, you woke me up just in time." He smiles and peck my lips.

I nod and kiss his forehead and lips. "I'm still sorry.." I whisper and slowly let go of him. "Go get showered and dressed, what do you want to eat as breakfast?" I ask gently smoothly playing with his hair.

"I already made breakfast." He smiles. "You can start without me if you want." He says picking up some clothes

"Thanks baby, but I will wait for you." I smile slightly and kiss his lips before heading down stairs. I sigh and pour some juice for me so i won't pass out from the shock. I was back to my worries again, eating me alive.

I sit there waiting for him more than 15 minutes. I frown and go upstairs since he took more time in bathroom than he used to. "Baby if you didn't finish I will eat alone!" I say as if to make him finish faster, standing in front of the bathroom door but I don't hear a water sound and don't get a respond. "What are you doing inside all this time?!" I ask opening the door, but some heavy body prevent it from opening wide so I slide inside to see him sitting with his back to the door and his hand on his heart wincing in pain. I panic and start shaking as I sit on my knees with tears in my eyes and massage his chest gently. "What is it baby?!!" I ask worried and afraid. "What's wrong ?!"

He raise his hand to me as if to calm down, then he raise two fingers to tell me to give him two minutes. I stay beside him holding his hand, trying with all the self control I have not to cry. I stroke his hair and pat his shoulder gently still having the panicked expression on my face and not knowing what to do.

Five minutes later he sighs and stand up. He helps me standing up and hug me gently, stroking my back. "Sorry about that.." He whispers. I breath in deeply holding on him strongly with my shaking arms. I feel my blood pressure going lower than it's supposed to be and I start crying uncontrollably.

"Are you okay ?!!" I manage to say through my crying.

"Hey babe...please don't cry, I don't want to see you cry.." He says wiping away my tears "I'm okay I promise, it started to happen when I take two pills at the same time lately, its alright.." He says soothingly.