Blame It On Life..

1- Only if she didn't..

Only if she didn't damn struggle with groceries that day! She could've been better now.

For the first time ever she regretted meeting him and falling for him. She hated that day she struggled with groceries and he offered his help so that she won't be in this situation now. She hated herself. She kicked the wall one last time as she threw the test on the closed door. Tears fell down her eyes as she also fell to her knees and let out a loud cry. There were no one anyway to hear her crying that hard. She just graduated highschool and was all ready for her college..but the forth test was positive as well. Mind this angry young lady because her future is about to be ruined.

It's me..Annabelle John Forbes.

My sweet 18 was just a few days ago but it's not going to be my golden year at all..Everything seemed unrealistic and unbelievable because I didn't ever feel that it will happen to me, I've tried to keep myself away from this kind of troubles the whole time but I fell pregnant already. My cries were full of sorrow and worry as I rested there against the bathroom wall crying my eyes out from fear for god knows how long. I knew my parents are going to be so disappointed and my boyfriend..oh shit, Ryan ! He's on his way !" I mumble wiping my tears as I stand up and wash my face quickly before grabbing the three tests on the counter and the forth one from the floor then hide them in my panties drawer. I clean-up in the bathroom and the house quickly before my boyfriend arrive from work. I quickly fix up some spaghetti and meat balls for dinner and put on a white shirt of his, knowing he likes it to see me in his clothes. I knew I will have to tell him sooner or later because he already noticed my sickness but both of us thought I just caught cold because of this night we kept playing with the ice in our garden in the back of our house. If you'll start wondering how a young couple manage to live in such a house then maybe if I tell you that my parents are wealthy enough to get me anything I want will ease it on you to get it but actually my boyfriend is making a very good mount of money to make us a life.

"I'm back babe !" He call out and put the keys down on the little table beside the door. Here he arrives. Ryan Dile..the minute I hear his voice I forget about anything that I regretted but I was still worried about the fact that I'm carrying his baby now. I sigh deeply and take a deep breath before putting on a perfect smile and walk out of the kitchen towards him, fighting my tears. I wrap my arms around his neck pecking his lips deeply.

"I missed you!" I break the kiss smiling at him, I didn't know I was that good at hiding feelings.

"What did I do to deserve such an amazing kiss ?" He smile kissing me back.

"Nothing I'm generous I say laughing going back to the kitchen where I serve dinner knowing he must be starving by now.

"Yeah I can see that." He chuckles and follow me in the kitchen. "So how was your day ?"He says as he sits by the table.

"Okay.." I say and sit across of him on the table. "How was yours ?" I ask filling my mouth with spaghetti.

"It was exhausting." He sighs and take a bite.

"Mmm..Its really good babe." He moans as he continue eating quickly.

"Thanks.." I say smiling slightly and take my plate to clean it after eating a little bit. "Do you want something to drink ?" I ask looking inside the fridge, grabbing an orange juice jar and pour some for myself.

"Give me the same thing as you." He smiles as I hand him his glass filled with orange juice. "Did you get some rest ? You still seem pretty tired.." He says frowning at me as his smile fades when he notice how warn out I'm and I simply let out a sigh. I would be grateful any other day that he noticed how much tired I'm but today I wasn't really liking it.

"Yeah I did.." I say and sit again drinking my orange juice in silence.

"Really ? I'm worried babe, you don't look well.." He sighs and drink all of his orange juice.

"I'm fine..if your day was exhausting then we can go to bed early tonight." I say quietly and he nods with a slight frown, hating to see me tired or exhausted. We clean up the kitchen together then go upstairs to our bedroom. He takes a shower then put on his pajama pants and lie beside me on bed, it was warm enough in the house for him to take his clothes off. He silently pull me in his warm and big arms hugging me closer to his chest. his sun kissed skin and strong built body felt irresistible to me. His taller and bigger figure felt demanding over mine but in a good way that mad me feel so warm in his arms, I felt safer but now I also felt afraid of his reaction. I kept silent as I rested there in his arms and fell asleep being worn out from tiredness, he fell asleep quickly as well after all the effort he did in the office.

I wake up in the middle of the night feeling my whole body burning with heat and my head is going to explode from the headache, a thing I used to feel when I'm nervous and stressed, I take a long look at Ryan sleeping beside me peacefully and a tear roll down my eyes as I run my fingers in my long brown hair and bring my knees up to rest my elbows on it, I wipe away my tears and walk to my wardrobe and pick shorts and tank top then walk to the bathroom to shower and change into them to reduce the heat flashing from my body even though it supposed to be cold outside my body was hot, I get back beside him on bed and shake his body gently Ryan..Ryan.. I whisper waking him up.

"Yeah..are you okay ? What's wrong..? He groan rubbing his eyes to look at me as he sit up on bed, his big brown eyes filled with worry and his brown soft hair was all messy.

"I'm sorry I woke you up..I..I'm just feeling a headache..and a bit more exhausted. I rest my head on his chest and hide my face in his neck trying to feel some comfort out of this stress I'm feeling. "Just hold me tight maybe I'll fall asleep.." I close my eyes trying to rest as I felt him holding me closer and feel him stroking my hair and back slowly. I knew he felt something is odd with me but he kept silent.

"I'm right here.." He whispered with a frown.

I thought of telling him but my stomach turned at the thought of his reaction and I covered my mouth trying to get over this sick feeling but I couldn't fight it. I get off his side to run in our en-suite bathroom and lean against the toilet throwing up everything I ate on dinner. I felt him running right after me and pull my long hair away from my face as I throw up. He stroked my back and hushed me as I groaned and sat on the floor, shakily.

"What's wrong with you ? You refused going to a doctor and this sickness won't stop..you're exhausted all the time.." He says sighing and rest against the counter. "Okay babe..If you didn't tell me what's going on I will sleep on the couch !" He says following me with a glare in his eyes when I walk out of the bathroom after washing my mouth without talking to him. I felt that he doubted something and felt my body go more shaky. "Then go." I throw a pillow on him playfully trying to lighten the mood as I smile but he didn't even crack a grin and picked the pillow walking downstairs to sleep on the couch in our living room silently.

I sigh softly and pick the test from my drawer to hide it in my pocket trying not to cry as I follow him downstairs. "Is it that easy for you to sleep without me ?" I say shoving myself beside him on the comfy couch.

"I'm tired babe..I'm afraid you don't love me the way you say you do.." He sighs softly as he pulls me closer against him and hide his face in my breasts.

"I love you more than the way I say I do.." I say already feeling tears filling my eyes as I play with his hair. "But I'm afraid and stressed out.." I say sniffing as I look down at him.

"Afraid of what god damn it!" He suddenly sit up on the couch sitting me in front of him. Why are you keeping things from me..talk to me.." He says staring at me and I shiver as he wipes my tears slowly staring in my eyes. "If you love me then you shouldn't keep secrets from me !"

"I'm so afraid you might get angry at me..or leave me if..if I showed you this.." I whisper taking out the test handing it to him already sobbing. I couldn't make anything out of his expression as he takes it and hold it but I was worried.