Three Idiots, Two Wheels, Zero Rizz
We were three absolute disasters on wheels, cruising down the dusty street like we owned the entire town, even though none of us had more than fifty bucks in our pockets.
Arthur was pedaling furiously on his squeaky, rusted bicycle, balancing a massive stack of local newspapers in his front basket. He called himself a "media mogul," but honestly? He was just a gloriously underpaid newspaper supplier who knew every single piece of dirty gossip in the neighborhood. Julian was riding completely hands-free behind him, holding a cracked vintage camera to his eye with one hand and taking photos, risking total brain damage just to get a "dramatic shot."
And then there was me. The resident chess nerd. The guy who could calculate twenty moves ahead on a wooden board, but somehow had zero game when it came to real life.
"Bro, watch out!" I yelled, swerving my bike just in time as Arthur almost plowed straight into Mrs. Gable's prized rose bushes. "If you crash those papers, your dad is gonna roast you alive!"
"Shut up, man! It's called multitasking! It's a high-stress hustle!" Arthur yelled back, breathless. He snatched a newspaper and launched it over a fence. It missed the porch entirely, soared through the air, and landed with a loud SPLASH directly inside the dog's water bowl. A massive German Shepherd started barking furiously at the gate.
Julian burst out laughing so hard he wobbled and almost flipped over his handlebars. "Bro! Your aim is cooked! Absolutely cooked! That's a total L, my guy! You just gave that dog the morning news!"
"Hey! At least I have a job, you camera addict!" Arthur barked, riding up alongside Julian and shoving his shoulder. "You just take blurry pictures of streetlights and act like it's deep aesthetic art!"
"It is art, you uncultured swine!" Julian wheezed, shoving him back.
Within two seconds, both of them slammed their brakes, dumped their bikes right on the grass near the old railway track, and started aggressively wrestling like two wild animals. Arthur had Julian in a terrible headlock, while Julian was frantically trying to protect his camera lens, screaming about "preserving high culture."
I pulled up next to them, leaned on my handlebars, and sighed. "If either of you breaks a bone, I'm not lying to your moms again. Last time Arthur broke his arm, I had to convince his mom he fell while saving a stray cat from a tree."
"And it worked!" Arthur wheezed, letting go of Julian, who was lying flat on his back in the grass, breathless and wheezing with laughter. "My mom made me soup for a week! That was legendary team play!"
That was us. We had grown up in the same square mile our entire lives. We survived strict parents, disastrous school exams, terrible haircuts, and the sheer humiliation of teenage heartbreak. Our bonding was built on a solid foundation of endless roasting, stolen snacks, and absolute loyalty. If one of us got into a fight, all three of us were swinging-even if we had no idea who we were fighting or why.
Julian sat up, dusting off his dirt-covered shirt, and pointed a finger at me with an evil, mischievous grin. "Speaking of total Ls... Arthur, ask him what happened at the local library yesterday."
"Oh no," I groaned, throwing my head back. "Do not bring that up. It was an intellectual misunderstanding."
"Oh God, what did you do this time?" Arthur snorted, sitting up on the grass with eyes wide. "Did you try to flirt using chess tactics again? Please tell me you didn't!"
"He did!" Julian shouted, slapping his knee violently. "He walked up to this super cute girl reading a novel, sat across from her, looked her dead in the eye, and said, 'Your defensive positioning is immaculate, but I can break through your pawn structure.'"
Arthur let out a sound that was half-scream, half-cackle. He rolled over onto his stomach, punching the dirt. "NO! No way! Bro got negative rizz! That's actual trauma! What did she say?!"
"She didn't say anything!" Julian howled. "She gathered her books, looked at him like he was an escaped mental patient, and sprinted out the door! Bro got ghosted in real life before he even got her Instagram!"
"She lacked vision!" I protested, my face burning red while my two best friends laughed at my misery like absolute psychopaths. "She was intimidated by my tactical mind! It was a metaphor for emotional vulnerability!"
"Bro, she thought you were threatening her family!" Arthur wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. "You are hopeless, man. Absolutely cooked. Your romantic life is in a permanent state of checkmate."
"Whatever," I grumbled, tossing a stray pebble at Arthur's knee. "At least I didn't cry for three days straight like Arthur did when Maya dumped him in eighth grade."
"WHOA! Low blow!" Arthur yelled, his grin instantly vanishing as he dramatically clutched his chest. "That was a tragic heartbreak! I was going through my dark villain arc! I was listening to sad emo rock and eating cereal out of a mixing bowl in the dark!"
"You weren't a villain, Arthur," Julian smirked, aiming his camera and snapping a quick photo of Arthur's horrified face. "You were just a crying middle-schooler with milk on your shirt."
"I hate both of you so much," Arthur muttered, though he couldn't hide the big grin breaking across his face.
We sat by the tracks as the sun began to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in deep shades of orange and purple. We shared a single family-sized bag of chips, passing it around in silence for a moment. This was the stuff that made us inseparable. No matter how crazy or chaotic our home lives got, this little trio was our safe zone.
"Seriously though," Julian said quietly, adjusting his camera lens as he looked at the sunset. "What's the dream? Ten years from now, where are we?"
"I'm gonna own the entire regional media network," Arthur said instantly, leaning back on his elbows. "No more paper routes. Just big money, high drama, and a massive mansion."
"I'm taking photos for global fashion magazines," Julian added, clicking the shutter at the sunset. "Or maybe shooting movie posters. Living in a high-rise studio."
They both looked over at me.
"I just want a grandmaster title," I said softly, staring down at my calloused fingers. "And maybe... someone who can actually play a grandmaster-level game with me. Someone who sees the board the same way I do."
"Bro wants a chess queen," Arthur snickered, nudging my foot with his shoe. "If a girl ever beats you at chess, you're gonna fall in love on the spot, aren't you?"
"If a girl ever beats me at chess," I said, a slow smile spreading across my face, "I'll probably hand her my heart on a silver platter."
We didn't know it then, sitting on that dry grass with dusty shoes and cheap chips, but that girl was already stepping onto our board. And when she played her first move, our funny, noisy, beautiful little world was going to crumble into a nightmare.
YOU ARE READING
The geometry of broken echoes
Mystery / Thriller"When the clocks stopped in Oakridge, the shadows began to speak." Description: Oakridge has been hiding a secret for sixteen years. Tonight, that secret is waking up.When the high school's heating system suddenly becomes a deadly sound weapon, five...
