Sweet Karma [boyxboy]

Chapter Nineteen

"Honestly? I thought you were going to break up with me." He murmured. I blinked, letting go of him to sit down in his lap again so I was looking up at him.

"Why would you think that?" I asked in disbelief, reaching up to cup his face. He looked down at me, tired and maybe even a little sad, and it felt like my heart was breaking.

"I don't know." He replied softly, then wrapped his arms around me again. I hugged him back tightly, cradling him to my chest. We didn't talk for a while, just sat there in silence, holding each other. The only sound came from the wind outside the window and the faint voices in the rest of the house.

After a while, we sprawled out on the bed. Adam rested against the pillows and I draped myself on top of him, letting my head rest against his chest, listening to his heart beat a steady beat. I could hear his blood rushing through his veins like a steady stream. He was calm now.

"I don't know what to do," Adam breathed at last, making me lift my head and rest my chin on his chest so I could look into his face as he stared up at the ceiling, "Halfblood or no halfblood. Stay here or go with you. Kill or be killed. I don't know what to do." I gazed at him sadly, watching him war with himself. I still didn't speak, because I promised to listen now, not speak.

"I don't want to drink blood," He went on, grimacing at the thought, "I don't like the taste. I've been hit in the mouth before. I know what it tastes like... And I don't want to have to live on that. I don't want to drink from plastic bags. I don't want to drink from animals either. I like greasy cheeseburgers on the Fourth of July. I like turkey and dressing in the fall. I like apple pie, I like chocolate milkshakes. Hell, I rather have heartburn and indigestion than have to drink blood every day for the rest of my life. I don't mind eating so much that I gain a couple pounds. I don't mind lying on the sofa and vegetating after a Thanksgiving dinner." He was quiet for a while and I heard his stomach give a faint growl, making me smile faintly as I slid my hand up his shirt, placing it over his stomach and rubbing slow circles.

Adam sighed, closing his eyes in a way that told me he was enjoying it. He opened his eyes after a while to stare up at the ceiling again.

"I don't want to die either," He murmured, giving me chills as I looked up at his face, "I don't want my life to end this soon. Not after everything I've done to survive this far. And I promised you I wouldn't die. I don't want to think about what would happen if you were alone, especially with all these predators on the loose. I know I'm human. I know I can die easily. I know that if I were a halfblood, I could still die, but it would be harder. I know that if I stay a human, I'll grow old and die if Zephyra doesn't kill me first. If I'm a halfblood, if Zephyra doesn't kill me, I'll age at the same rate you are. I'll be young forever, but for some reason, that bothers me." I looked at him questioningly as he studied the ceiling, as if hoping the answers to all his problems would fall from above.

"I'll be seventy and still look like I'm twenty. I know it's probably stupid, but I want to know what I would look like, where I'd be, what I'd be when I'm seventy and human. Probably half dead in a nursing home somewhere, but still. It's an experience I wouldn't have. I don't know," Adam sighed at last, shutting his eyes tightly as if trying to block something out before his expression relaxed, "I don't know. They're stupid things to think about, but I can't help it."

"It's not stupid," I said quietly, picking up Adam's hand and lacing my fingers with his before tilting my head up to look at him, "It's... It's normal to worry about those kinds of things. Most humans just jump at the chance because they want eternal life and youth. They think all the riches and power come with the package, but that's not true. There are plenty of homeless vampires out there. Just look at Newell. Not that you're gonna be homeless, though. You'd... live.. with me." Adam held his breath for a moment, his heart jumping into overdrive at the thought.