As Right As Rain

3. New Start

I found myself standing in front of the full-length mirror the next morning, staring into my own hazelnut eyes which seemed slightly lighter. My skin didn't look cold and weak, my cheeks had gotten some color in them, and my hair wasn't soaked.

It was a new day and a new start.

"Who are you trying to fool?" I sighed, rolling my eyes at myself in the mirror.

After all the events of yesterday, I had awoken this morning with a strong epiphany. The past was brutal and terrible, but here I was in a new town, living in a nice place, having two new friends. I wasn't going to drag all my baggage into this new chapter of my life. I refused.

After Cash had tried to get me to open up about my past last night, I realized how important it was to face it myself before I let it be the thing that ended up destroying me. I had woken up with the sunrise, done some yoga as I didn't have keys yet to go out for a jog, and had meditated for a few hours. It was tough and scary, reliving the harsh reality of yesterday. But I had to go through the healing process. I had even listened to a guided-healing meditation video on YouTube. It sounded silly and was definitely not something I would have ever done before, but my entire situation had ended me up in somewhere I'd never imagine either. So, like I said before: new day, new start.

I had probably broken down in sobs at least thrice since I'd woken up, but it was good. I had to get out all the pain, anger, and confusion out of my system. Last night was unacceptable. I refused to be the helpless weak girl screaming in the middle of the night and requiring some hunky hero to come rushing to my side at every cry.

I decided I would be there for myself. 

So now, here I stood, facing my new look in the mirror with uncertainty. I looked over myself once more. I had on a pair of black ripped skinny jeans with a white crop top which showed off just a sliver of my tanned skin. My long brown hair which was usually tied up in a messy bun was sitting at my sides, it's long length reaching my belly button and looking a lot more lively and soft without being drenched. It was quite different from my usual style which consisted of baggy sweats and hoodies. But I felt good in this, it made me feel more confident and capable. I was starting fresh, and I might as well start with my look, which may or may not also be an attempt to impress a certain dark haired grey eyed boy. But it was mostly for myself. 

"You're a bad bitch." I said in the mirror, pointing at myself.

"A bad motherfucking bitch." I added, giving myself a smirk.

I was going crazy. But at least I looked good. It was time to say goodbye to the shy, insecure, book nerd. Well, I'd always be a book nerd, but no one would know that except me. I was ready to step up and become the confident woman I had always read about and dreamed of becoming. Being a quiet, laid-back girl who never opposed to anything and always did favors for others had gotten me nowhere. Maybe once my mother had been the only one who had seen my good qualities and never took advantage of them, but since she'd left, the cruel world had been having it's go at me.

People who I'd always respected and looked up to were quick to switch into selfish monsters. Friends who I'd always praise and value were fast to turn a blind-eye. 

In life, you really only had yourself. And I was ready to step up to be the bests version of myself.

So finally making my way down the steps without turning around and trying to escape out through the window, I found Austin at the counter, talking to Cash who was stirring a cup of steaming hot coffee.

Both boys looked up at the same time from the kitchen as I reached the last step on the stairs. I almost laughed when both their jaws unhinged simultaneously.