You Just Love To Hate Me || Ricky 'Horror' Olson (EDITING)

Chapter 27: I Don't Love You Like I Did Yesterday

I walked around the side of the building and leant against the brick wall. I lit up my cigarette and placed it in between my dry lips. I closed my eyes and inhaled the toxic fumes, breathing out slowly.

"I can't believe you've started doing that," Someone sighed from beside me.

I jumped and almost dropped my cigarette. My eyes popped open and I shot around to see Ricky stood there. He had his hands in his pockets, a big hoodie on like me, his hair was tangled and messy and he was wearing no make up whatsoever. His eyes had large purple rings surrounding them from lack of sleep and his eyes themselves were red and blood shot. His lips were chapped and dry and his skin was slightly grey. He had lost a bit of weight which isn't good since he was very skinny anyway, but now he looked unhealthily skinny. He looked awful to say the least.

"That was always the one thing I felt bad about: smoking around you because you were so good about it and I didn't want to influence you to do anything and I didn't want you to breathe any of it in and I always told myself I'd stop for you, but I never got the chance because shit just kept happening." He continued.

"What are you doing here?" I asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence which consisted of both of us staring at our feet and me fighting off the urge to cry and hug him.

"I wanted to talk to you and I wanted to apologise." He mumbled, his voice croaky and hoarse.

"Oh," I said, expecting him to say something different.

"Will you listen please?" He asked, almost pleaded. I nodded and he sighed in relief that I hadn't shot him down so quick. He took my hands in his and looked me in the eye, his eyes filled with so much pain that I didn't have the heart to pull myself away. "I shouldn't have lied I know that and fuck have I payed the price, but I was so scared things would change if you knew I was going away because you distance yourself when you're sad or scared and things were going so well. I'm a mess, I have been since I left because you were the only thing that kept me going, my oxygen, my fuel and I lost you and it drained all motivation and emotion from me so all I felt was sadness which is the one thing you kept from me when you were near. I meant what I said that day I left when I told you I didn't want to lose you and I did just that and I can't believe I did just that because that's the one thing I wanted to avoid more than anything else in the whole world. I know you and I know that even if you think you've overreacted you won't take me back without a fight because you don't want me to be able to walk all over you and trust me you've shown you're strong and I've suffered so much. You're the love of my life and I can't be without you Vamp. Please?" He begged, tears running down his face, his blue eyes shining with tears.

"Ricky it's not that," I sobbed. "It's the fact that the one thing you promised you wouldn't do is the one thing you did and that's lie to me. You swore you'd be honest with me and I love you but I can't get over that."

"Vamp I can't lose you. I understand you may be upset with me and you may have lost all the trust you had for new, but I'm asking for a chance to build that up again and I'm asking for the chance for you not to forget, yet, but to forgive me and let me prove to you that I am sorry and that you mean more to me than anyone. You're my world, my life and my best friend. I want you back in my arms so bad. Please Vamp?"

I looked down at my shoes for a moment and sighed heavily. He seems so sorry and I want him back more than anything. Is it worth it? Was any of this worth it?

I said nothing, but flung my arms around his neck. He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist as I sobbed into his neck.

"I missed you so much," He cried and held onto me so tightly.

"I missed you so much too," I replied.

"I don't want to let go of you," He admitted.

"Me neither," I agreed and held onto him as tight as I possibly could.

"Promise me we'll never fight like that again?" He asked.

"Promise me you'll never lie to me again and you'll actually talk to me about things?"

"I promise," He nodded.

"Then so do I," I grinned.

He carefully placed his hands on my face and urgently pressed his lips to mine. I melted into the familiar sensation of his lips on mine and our lips moved in sync, my eyes tight shut and praying this wasn't all a dream. It's almost as if no time has passed and I'm so grateful for that; I just love him so much and I've never wanted to be in someone's arms more than I did moments ago.

"I love you," He murmured between kisses.

"I love you too," I replied and tangled my fingers in his hair.

He pulled me closer and we haut continued to kiss, not in a sexual way or in a way that would lead to anything, but just to make up for lost time. We've both needed this for a long time now and honestly I wouldn't want anyone else's lips on mine.