Soldier's Poem

Adrenaline coursing through me, I ran as fast as my feet could carry me through the masses of dead bodies, ignoring the pounding drops of rain that hit my head with a pit-pat noise. Spluttering salty tear mixed water from my lips, I stumbled and tripped with my rifle in hand, ignoring the protests emitting from my fellow soldiers. My hair was matted and wet, making my vision hazier than I meant for it to be, my helmet usually keeping it out of my face, but that was long gone.

I have to find him. 

Brushing aside the occasional shrub and tree branch, I searched frantically for him, looking left and right and up and down. My head was pounding and my heartbeat resounding throughout my body. I felt extremely cold, yet I could feel beads of sweat intermixing with the raindrops, making my uniform cling uncomfortably to my body. My feet ached, my once shiny and comfy combat boots now scuffed and worn. 

But I’m not giving up. Not until I tell him what has been on my mind since I first laid eyes on him.

It was about three months ago, when new recruits had arrived at our camp, most eager and excited to be serving their country. Young, fresh faces of about thirty men beamed as our Sergeant introduced them. I grunted my hello to each, studying them and deciding my opinion on each one. From the looks on their faces and the state of their posture, it was fairly easy to determine who was ready to see the cruel world that is war. Each man was gaining my silent approval, until Sergeant Wolstenholme introduced this pitiful excuse of a soldier.

“Men, welcome Gerard Way, a new addition to the infantry division.”

I all but snorted when I heard the words. Gerard was fairly small, lacking muscle mass, and looked like he wouldn’t be even remotely helpful in combat. His dark hair was cut short, but I could see the beginning of strands that would surely cling to his sides in wispy clumps. His eyes were wide and innocent, green orbs filled with apprehension and slight fear, his lips pouted in a slight form of worry. His uniform looked rather loose, and I wondered how exactly he even made it past training. 

He looked rather, attractive, if I was being honest. Being stuck with so many men opened my eyes to the beauty of the same gender, and I was not bothered by the thoughts running through my head about this particular soldier. 

My mind was so far off into fantasy land that I failed to realize Sergeant Wolstenholme screaming in my face. Wiping the remnants of saliva of my cheek, I saluted and uttered a ‘yes sir’ as he instructed me to introduce Gerard to the camp for a few days, soon leaving my presence to repeat the same words to another soldier. 

I gladly showed the timid soldier around for the next few weeks. Surprisingly, we got along very well, sharing similar interests and becoming great friends. In fact, I soon learned Gerard was not the timid, puny guy I thought he would be; not at all. He was just shy at first, but I was soon exposed to his humor and charming ways. Of course, I forced myself to harbor the feelings I was rapidly developing for him, surprised that I managed to have such self-control. As each day dragged along in the hell known as my camp, I found solace and comfort in Gerard, his hugs and smiles making my life as a soldier a million times better. Even when we had to camp out in fuck knows where, he’d be there, wrapping his arms around me tight, whispering words of comfort until I fell asleep.

He was my hero of war.

It’s been a week since we have had the chance to snuggle and talk as if we were back home. I missed it so much, and I was tired from the combat we’ve been in since. So many of our soldiers have died, and I lost Gerard about a day ago. 

I’ve been trying to hold my tears back since, and I’ve been asking everyone if they’ve seen him since. All I would get are countless “no’s” and sympathetic looks. But I don’t want words of comfort from my fellow soldiers, who were just in fact strangers; I knew none of them as well as I did Gerard. I kept asking every chance I could, and I finally got an answer.

According to Soldier Hayes, he last saw Gerard a few hours ago, clear across the forest, aiding in combat with fellow infantrymen. 

Panting, I soon reached the end of the forest, crouching and slinging my rifle across my back as I caught my breath. As I rested, I heard the unmistakable sounds of combat bursting through the pounding of the rain, and I felt a twinge of worry in the pit of my stomach. Mustering up more strength, I continued my run towards the source of gunshots.

Reaching the combat zone, I pulled out my rifle and cocked it in preparation, taking in the scene. Fellow soldiers were all fighting against the enemy, the sound of metal on metal and screams of agony creating a melancholy chorus synchronizing with the gloomy weather. I caught glimpses of many faces, but none of them Gerard’s. I searched and searched through the masses of bodies for the source of my sanity, but I just couldn’t find him.

To tell him I need him. 

Feeling panicked, I made my way through battling soldiers and continued my search, occasionally firing my gun at an enemy in a robotic like fashion, ignoring their cry of pain as they fell to the ground, gasping for their last breaths. None of it mattered, not until I found Gerard. Step by step, I made my way across the battlefield, my eyes glancing everywhere at once, until I saw the familiar head of hair whipping back and forth in the heat of battle. Quickening my pace, I fired my rifle and got rid of the enemy soldier, Gerard turning around to say thank you. 

But I received more than that once he recognized me. I felt a warm body envelope mine, and a nose nuzzle into my neck as I breathed in the musty, wet mop of a head that was Gerard. Savoring the moment for a few more seconds, I pulled away and looked into the shining orbs, smiling warmly and biting my lip. We froze but for a moment, in empathy.

After the brief moment, Gerard flicked his wet hair from his eyes and grunted. “Thanks Frankie, I really needed the help.” He nodded and cocked his gun, “Now come on, let’s go kick more ass.” 

As he turned to resume battle, I grabbed his shoulder. “Wait,” he cocked a brow at me, “I have something to tell you. Something really important.”

Slinging his rifle across his back, Gerard whispered, “Well, get on with it then. This isn’t exactly a proper place to have a conversation, Frankie.”

Nodding in agreement, I leaned in and closed my eyes, my mouth next to his ear. “I love you, Gerard Way. I have for quite a while.” Wrapping my arms around his slim waist, I felt him stiffen.

“What?” He choked out, “You what?”

Feeling slightly worried, I repeated the three words, “I. Love. You.”

“Oh.” He pulled away, and looked me in the eye, the swirl of colors making my heart swell with adoration, “It’s about damn time you say it.”

Before I had time to respond, I felt dry, chapped press against mine, sending a jolt of pleasure throughout my body; from head to toe. Through the kiss, I felt Gerard murmur the three words against my lips. Reciprocating the action, I hugged him closer before pulling away abruptly, remembering our current situation.

Smiling suggestively, I looked up at a blushing Gerard, “Just wait unt-“

And then it all went black, the sound of a gunshot echoing in my head as a searing pain rippled from my chest to my whole body. 

Bang, bang, you’re dead, Frankie.