I LIKE IT

The app

I came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, wrapped in the softness of my pajamas. Half-slumped on my bed, my legs moving in the air, I swung my feet absentmindedly as I scrolled through my phone.

Suddenly, a text from Drea appeared

- So, did you do it?

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Obviously, she was still talking about this dating app that she had been pushing me to download for weeks.

"It's just for fun," she kept saying.

At the end of my patience, I finally gave in. I installed the app, created a profile on the fly, took a barely recognizable photo of myself, and closed everything before going to bed.

The next morning, I got ready to go to class. Nothing new, just my usual routine. But very quickly, boredom took over. During class, I grabbed my phone and started browsing through my apps. Then I remembered that I had installed an application the day before when I kept receiving notifications from it.

I started looking through the profiles, making harsh judgments about those who had left me little hearts. Then, in my suggestions, one profile caught my attention. I sketched a smile without really understanding why.

It wasn't anything extraordinary, just... a tone, a touch that I liked. I decided not to click. Just to take a look.

Over the following days, I left the application untouched, until a few nights later, while having dinner with my friend, she brought it up again.

- You should at least try it, she said while scrolling through my phone herself. Two or three dates, just to see. There's no need to commit if you don't feel anything.

I looked at her without saying anything, then said to myself

" I don't lose anything by trying. "

Then, the weeks faded into a blur of dates: some funny, others endless, sometimes leaving me with nothing but the urge to go home. But deep down, I wasn't losing anything, just some time.

Besides, I never paid for them, and these outings at least gave me the perfect excuse to bring out the forgotten outfits at the back of my closet.

Weeks went by, drowned in a whirlwind of vague dates. Sometimes, I had trouble distinguishing between the next day and even the night before. Each date felt like a single piece of a puzzle that I didn't know how to put together yet.

I kept going from one to another without really thinking about it, the memories fading almost immediately. Two or three, maybe four encounters... I didn't count anymore.

Sometimes, it was a trip to a café, a walk in a park, or just a drink in a bar. Nothing seemed lasting, nothing was supposed to last. And yet, there was this profile, the one that had made me smile from the very beginning.

I remained in this space, oscillating between desire and caution, between hope and self-protection. I didn't know how much these appointments truly fit into my life, or how long they would last.

But at least, I allowed myself to let go without setting any expectations, in this suspended moment where everything remained possible and nothing was required.

One rainy afternoon, I was waiting in a café near the bay window. The incessant rain tapped softly against the glass, creating a lonely melody that amplified the emptiness inside me.

The room seemed both full and strangely silent. I felt alone, and a strange tiredness slowly crept over me.

Without thinking too much, I took out my phone and decided to scroll one last time through this app that I had almost sworn to delete.