Catch Me When I Fall

Chapter two: Conceal

Five minutes later I can feel new bruises  already developing. Trying my hardest to catch my breath, I hesitantly get up and pull up my tank top revealing my black and purple laced bra. I walk over to my hidden door in my closet that I accidentally made around 4 yrs ago when my mom started drinking. I tugged out the drywall and pull out my concealer and also my mini tub to hold it, I got a lot of covering to do. I dump it out in the tub and grab a hand full and lightly start covering my stomach, trying my best not to make any noise. I finish my stomach and back and shoulders, forearms, and feet. All that's left is my wrists, after a few seconds of pity party of two: me, my box cutter blade. I crouch down under my bed and grab my blade, breathing in deeply. I chose a placing and lay the metal blade against my wrist, I push hard against my skin and glide along my wrist quickly, covering the same line a couple times and move on to the next. The sensation of having pain that I can control has always fascinated me, for once I have control over something. I start to slow as I see the blood gathering together making a poll on my wrists, I finish with 12 new "train tracks" as my little sister calls them. I wipe off my blade and put it back in it's place, I wipe off my arms and do the same to my concealer tub, I got some blood on it. After my train tracks start to dry off, I take concealer ready to cover my arms, but then thought "screw it" and instead applied to my face. I do my regular makeup routine: light eye shadow, eyeliner, and mascara. I then scramble through my closet. After a few minutes of debating, I grab a johnnie guilbert thugpug tshirt, black skinny jeans. I can't wear my ripped ones cause I forgot to cover my legs, And my black Vans. I turn on my fave song by Pierce The Veil  King for a Day as I turn on my straightener and jam out for a bit as I let it get hot. My hair isn't too bad since I washed it yesterday so I don't have a lot of work to do. And the purple color is staying in pretty well. When I finally decided I looked  presentable, I grab my book bag and  run down the stairs. "Bye mom." I say as I'm half out the door, and she replies slurry like, "oh shut up" okay that hurt. I don't live too far from school so I decide to walk, I need to clear my head. I open up my phone and start scrolling through twitter, then am greeted with a bump and find myself on the ground. "Watch where you're going slut!" Yells Danny de Rico, the most popular guy in school. "I'm a virgin, dumbass." I say out loud, oops. He turns to me and stares me down till I look away. He looks me up and down and says " I see you've made some improvements. You're not too bad but still you're a emo bitch who no one would touch with a ten foot pole." By improvements he meant I've gotten smaller, which comes to no suprise considering the only time I actually sort of eat is gum occasionally. "Whatever, do you have any pain meds? I'm really sore." I asked, the bruisings and cuts are kicking In. "Whatever you want to say to cover it up, druggie." He then hands me a Baggie of 16 pills, I'm not sure what they are which scares me, but anything to get the pain away. I think to myself as I take out three of the while circular pills and say "bottoms up." Swallowing them all at once.