my first love

I haven't being kissed before...embarrassing huh?

Knock knock, I heard a male voice say at the door, I have barely been home for school, so that's a reason to get panicked, I haven't made any friends either, so who could this be ooh and to add to my frustration I have only one culprit in mind. As I rush to the door and unlatched it, I couldn't be wrong, could I? Its that wasp Brian.

Blocking the door way with my body "hello" making it obvious I'm not inviting him in..I hope he gets the message.

"Hi baby, hope you are good, I heard you were back and I wanted to check up on you, cause its kinda lonely around here" yea you creep you want to take advantage over the situation and be your perverted self. "Don't get me wrong jaz" did that come out loud or he saw the scowl on my face...pops, " I know you don't trust me and I deserve it given that I'm the reason you went away when I tried to force myself on you and played with your feelings knowing damn well you had a crush on me" he gives an apologetic smile and those dimples deepens. I'm shocked given that this guy knows only smirking and flirting, something must have hit him very hard.

"Its ok, I forgave you, but I don't trust you" I state the fact.."is that why you came?" Trying hard not to be hostile because that the good boy act doesn't get to me. He clears his throat, "you might be wondering why I've changed" he pauses and I still remain quiet "Nana died of lung cancer, the week before you arrived," his voice changes...is he crying? Why won't he, everyone loved her, she baked the best cookies, and she owned the ice cream shop 4 blocks down. She always gave us a treat.

"I didn't know, sorry for your loss, I haven't been out much since I came back....hey be strong, ok?"

"Nana told me something, she said you are a very good girl and that you are a keeper"
Woow, I know I use to carry her groceries home for her, but I did that to see Graham, when I had a crush on him...I feel guilty for taking advantage of her, is that why she said I'm a keeper?

"Eerm...I was in the middle of something when you came, I kinda have to go, I'm sorry for your loss, I mean it."

"Jaz, I know it is awkward to ask but, are you free on Saturday night? I'm managing Nana's shop for now I can get you, your favourite strawberry ice cream with a little bit of chocolate? Please?......are you going out with someone? He asked with something like hope in his light blue eyes and an angelic smile, no sane girl can say no to. But the fact is I'm not sane so I say...

"I'm not dating but I ain't ready now, about Saturday night am sorry i have to babysit my sisters" I said with a stern face, because there's no room for negotiation. I saw him shocked by my answer not disappointed as I was looking forward to seeing or maybe I still hate him for giving my 14year old self sleepless nights.

"Ok I understand, another time maybe?"

"Yes maybe."

With that he left. I pity the guy and i have forgiven him, I just don't want to remember what he did to me an I don't want a second time.

Flash back

"Hi Jaz" I froze as I heard that voice say my name, although I'm facing my locker, I know the owner of that angelic voice.

I blushed like a tomato and I couldn't stop grinning, I turned and said hi back to him and he smiled at me, that beautiful smile, with his eyes shining oh my goodness, can one person be this handsome?

"Can you escort me somewhere?" He asked after my awkward silence and gaping at him, the boy knew he had an effect on the poor girl with grave style and sense of fashion, I was in baggy jeans and a loose top.

It was lunch so I didn't hesitate to nod without asking where, He added "I am going to relay a message to the janitor, I was sent by Miss Roy and I wanted you to go with me, if its ok with you of course."

Finally I found my tongue in my mouth to say "errm ok" so much for finding my tongue. I couldn't stand the stares as we walked to the janitor's office, I was swelling with pride to be walking with the hottest guy in town, we passed by Clark and Keith who are in my art class and are best friends with Brian. They high-fived him and whispered something to him. He smirked at them and they smirked at me and walked away.

As we got to the janitor's office he opened the door for me and I went in, such a gentleman I thought, immediately he entered I heard the keys turn in the lock, signifying he had locked the door. Suddenly everything went dark and I went into panic mode, my heart was beating very loudly, I was scared. I called out his name but nothing came out. The janitor's office is situated at the end of the hall, so no one ever passes there hence screaming would be a waste of vocal chords.
As I was moving frantically, a felt a pair of hands hold my waist from behind and someone whispered into my ears calm down, it was Brian, stupidly enough I trusted him and relaxed, within a few second he turned me to face him and slid my hand to touch his bare chest. I screamed when I realised he was naked. He covered my mouth with his palm and started undoing my baggy jeans, when I realised what was about to happen, I started wailing and tears were running down my cheeks. He touched the tip of my breast and something hit me, call it adrenaline. I pushed him away from me and kicked him where the sun don't shine, serves him right, that jerk. I don't know how I got the strength, but I made it through the dark to the door. I couldn't find the keys, he pulled them out. I could hear him yelping in pain. I got scared all over again, but fortunately, I heard the knob turn outside and the door swung open. I run out without checking on my saviour.

"This is why I don't want him in my life and that is why I left for an all girls' school." I narrated to Mishael when he called.
"He had the guts to come to your house after all he did to you?" He asked, I could sense his fury it was obvious smoke was coming out of his ears. "I would burn him alive if he dares lay a finger on you"

"Calm down, I won't fall for that again, you don't know what I have been through to be who I am today, I have forgiven him but I have learnt my lesson.

"I'm sorry that had to happen to you, if I had the chance no harm will ever come to you, even thought we barely know each other, when I talked to kiki she was so much fun, she is such a live wire, Sally is also sweet, can't wait to meet you guys, I will be having intensive clinical practice, I won't be having enough time on my hands to talk on the phone but I will definitely check up on you, please don't forget about me, I like you."
I was speechless and quiet, there was so much emotion, this was new to me, being taken care of by some stranger, feeling safe and loved. I needed to say something, but I wasn't there yet, in my heart...
" I know you haven't been kissed before 'cause you told me, I would wanna be your first kiss, if you would let me, my practice will take six months, but I'm not asking you to wait but" he laughed "I'm not making sense damn am nervous, I know you haven't seen me before but I know we will make a good pair-"

" I know what you mean and I'm not ready as well but you can ask again next 6 months..and about the kissing part, that's a bit embarrassing, you know?" I laughed nervously.

"I'm sorry didn't mean it that way, I love your virgin lip already."

"Hahaha really?"

"Yes, sweets I have to go now, let's talk later ok, I like you goodnight"

"Soundsleep, Mishael."

We both hanged up and I fell asleep immediately.

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A picture of Cherry's crush.