Journal 25: Get The Girl

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A/N: Hope you're still hanging in there. We're down to the last two entries.

This one is when Brandon mans up and goes after his girl.

***

It was late in the afternoon one day when I woke up and the first thing that entered my mind was that I couldn't do this anymore.

I can't go through every single day, feeling like a ticking bomb that's just waiting to explode.

My fists were still aching from the few hits I got on Jake when I saw him a couple days ago. While I don't believe that Charlotte's actually having an affair with him, it felt good to give in to the violence of all the emotions I've held at bay. The satisfaction lasted no more than the time it took me to register the pain on my fists and the idiocy of my actions.

I don't want this life where nothing but the memories of a better, happier than one with Charlotte are all that I have for company.

I needed to see her.

I needed to talk to her.

I needed to fix whatever we've broken together.

That's when I saw the folded note and realized that this may not really be over yet.

She wrote me a love letter—one where she poured her heart and soul into, asking me to forgive her. We both have things to be sorry for and to forgive. And Charlotte, brave as always that she'll be the first to admit when she'd been a coward, made the first move. I don't know why I'm surprised. This is classic Charlotte, after all, taking charge of her own fate.

I sat there for a long moment after reading her Charlotte and laughed out loud, feeling the air fill my lungs again, inflating me back to life.

With blood roaring back into my veins, I rushed home, showered, and made calls so that at nearly one in the morning, friends and family came over and sat down with me to plan.

Every fiber in my body wanted to walk out that door, find Charlotte, and yank her back into my arms, telling her I'm sorry, asking for her forgiveness, promising her love and the moon and the stars. But I need to do more than that.

I need to win her this time, to leave her without a doubt that I'm going after her because I can't remember or imagine a different kind of life. I need her to believe that she's my only choice, one I've made gladly. I want her to know that I don't need her to be different, or better—I just want her happy and in her own terms.

I want her to be the princess she's never seen herself to be, and that I, merely a man, will try to be a prince because she deserves one.

- B

***

So, what do you think? 

Silly boy, that Brandon, eh? (That's me being Canadian).

I'm just running out of things to say. These are five posts all together. =)

P.S. I love T-Swift's 1989 album and there are a ton of songs there that I like. This is one of them. The lyrics are below but I can't find a good lyric video for it. I used this cover which is pretty close. I just can't stand not having the video to go with the lyrics. It's such an upbeat song.

♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift (cover by Amanda Rose) ♪♪♪

Oh oh oh.

Oh-oh.

Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain (rain).

She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane ('ane)?"

Say it's been a long 6 months

And you were too afraid to tell her what you want.

And that's how it works.

That's how you get the girl.

And then you say,

"I want you for worse or for better,

I would wait forever and ever,

Broke your heart, I'll put it back together.

I would wait forever and ever."

And that's how it works

It's how you get the girl, girl...

Oh.



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