The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

Explanation

Nobody could have prepared  me for what happened the following minutes of that awkward encounter. I stood there astonished by Harry's appearance at the door. He hadn't called, texted or come by for so long leaving me in my misery and at the same time in peace to mourn. What was he doing here at my parents' house looking so calm and dreamy and beautiful. Hiding my true feelings I looked at him with determination and firmness something I completely lacked and with a half opened door I asked:

"What are you doing here Harry?"

And just then the shock got even bigger...

My dad came from behind me opening the door completely pushing a bit back.

"Thank you for coming son" he said and I froze.

"You asked him to come?" I said through gritted teeth and looked at my dad astonished by his declaration.

"Yeah. I did" he answered bluntly. "Please come in Harry" he showed him to the living room and signaled for both of us to sit down.

My father had always been the silent parent following my mom's lead and to see him taking centre stage at that particular moment was unexpected to say the least. He had always been the one to ask my mom what to wear for a certain occasion, what food she would like for them to order, what schools we should go to, the list is endless. To witness him there in front of the both of us at that point was odd.

"Thank you for coming at such short notice Harry" he repeated and I was wide eyed, my jaw on the floor.

"That's OK sir" he said and looked at me shortly before he fiddled with his rings which seemed so interesting all of a sudden.

"What is going on here dad? Why did you ask him to come?" I was beyond frustrated boiling with fury against my dad who thoughtlessly asked Harry over without consulting me.

"I asked him to come princess because ...because I was the one who told him to go" he announced and I lost the ability to speak for a while.

Harry looked down and sighed. I looked at both of them and waited for answers. I wouldn't be patient. I wouldn't be nice.

"Harry, what does my dad mean?" everything seemed surreal. I felt like that was a part of really bad joke.

"Val..." he began but was cut off by my dad who suddenly had a voice after so many years living in my mom's shadows.

"It's OK son...let me explain. You see Val that day when your professor had mentioned the course abroad I was out with your mom for some coffee and I saw Harry here having a drink and a chat with a beautiful girl his age at the same cafeteria. I approached him after your mom finished talking to you on the phone and told him we should get together soon and talk. Of course he immediately explained that the girl was just a friend and nothing more"

"So...so where are you getting at dad...please go on" I was puzzled and anxious all at the same time.

"So as soon as you told us about the course I contacted your advisor who informed us of your excellent grades and he said that he could see you teaching here or abroad and that he could really tell that you had a bright future ahead of you..."

"Oh my God dad please tell me you didn't dad, not you?" I was teary and devastated.

Addressing Harry he continued "I am sorry if my words have offended you in any way, that was not my intention...but you have a child and I bet you can understand where I come from..."

"Dad what did you say to him...tell me the truth!" I was running out of patience and I needed answers.

"You see I called Harry here and told him..."
"What I already knew Valerie..." Harry interrupted saving my dad from the hot spot.
" I am holding you back Valerie, I am dragging you down (I know I am such a loser for using that) and I don't want to do that anymore. Your father told me, advised me that it would be better if I saw someone else ...someone heading the same way as me..."
My tears were soaking my white t-shirt...
"But I love you Harry...you said you loved me too" I tried to reason with him.
" I do...I did" he corrected putting more salt to my wounds.
"You say that you love me now but one day you will resent me, you will resent my situation from preventing you to fulfill your dreams Val" he stated.
"You...both of you ...you can't make that decision for me" I cried.
My dad was about to speak but Harry cut him off once more.
"Ash is a secretary...she is simple, steady job, no relatives in the country that Nadia's family can mess with..."
"Do you love her?" I asked afraid of the answer.
"Val..."
"Do you fucking love her? " not caring that my dad was two feet away from me.
"She is not complicated..." he said calmly and I got my answer.
"And I am?" I whispered and looked down surrendering to my sobs that were breaking the cool image I was trying to present.
"You are too good for me Val..." he came closer in front of me kneeling grabbing my arms trying to make me look at him.
"Love is not enough...you will get through this...you will forget all about me when you go to the UK for your masters degree and you will meet all those clever guys with a bright future..."
"Stop Harry, stop it now...I don't want anyone else...I want you but you are with someone else now...couldn't wait could you?"
He remained silent not wanting to fuel this pointless discussion. His thumbs caressed my knuckles and he tried to sooth my pain, to comfort me.
"I called him to say that I made a mistake..." my dad was long forgotten but his words made us both turn to him.
"I see how much my daughter loves you, it's not right to keep you two..."
"No! No sir,  I am with someone else now...I can't, I just can't" Harry stood up and headed to the door.
I sniffled and looked up reliving the same rejection one two many times.
"Me either..."I said..."I can't be doing this to myself any more. It's OK dad, it's over, I knew this time..." my voice faded.

Harry turned back to me as I stood up.

"I am doing this for you, Valerie..." he said trying to convince me.

"No, Harry. You are doing this because it is easy or easier at least. I am not the one who gave up. You are and I'll be damned If I stayed with someone who didn't care enough, at least as much as me... so yeah...this is it I guess. I wish you all the best in your life."

He came really close and in a way he asked my permission to hug me and  I nodded lazily taken aback by his action,so he did...he hugged me tightly for the last time...ironic that his eyes were the ones to tear now that mine had ceased.

"Goodbye Valerie"

"Goodbye Harry, Take care..."

"Yeah...you, too"

We stood there for a while and I finally moved a bit back. He looked at me one more time as If to take a mental picture of me and I did the same. He came closer to peck my lips and I smiled and he smiled back sniffling.

"Goodbye" we both almost said in unison and just like that he was out of my life.

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One more chapter left guys. Please comment and vote If you are enjoying this. If not well thanks for giving this a chance.