I love him, I love him not...

I love him, I love him not...(Ghost story) - Part 13

Keith waited it out, talking to her, making plans. But he didn't want to sit here any more. She was so calm, so honest, so...beautiful. And she didn't want him. The knowledge sent a knife of pain searing through him. She didn't want him and she was ready to quit pretending she did. The only problem was that he wasn't. He wanted to keep being able to pull her close, no explanation, no excuses.

But that's not what you're here for, the snide voice whispered once more. It should be good that she doesn't want you anymore, shouldn't it? Or are you regretting messing this up? Because she doesn't seem to be, does she? He couldn't deny, nor suppress the voice any longer. Mumbling his excuses, he left the house at lightning speed. Anything to escape those beautifully resolved eyes, eyes that didn't blame him. Eyes that, if he looked into them, left him aching in ways he didn't want to think about.

And he couldn't have her. Every time he looked at her he was reminded of that. It would probably be safer to give her up when this was over, just go back to his 'popular' crowd. But she's confident now. Someone's going to notice her. And when she gets together with- with Jack or someone, what are you going to say? 'Good for you'? 'Keep your hands off my girl'? When it happens, she's going to be happy with someone other than you. And there's nothing you can do.

Keith moaned and collapsed onto his bed. He hated that the voice in his head was right. When Andrew was gone, she would have no reason to talk to him. All of a sudden, he wished he had left it another week.

* * *

Belinda woke early the next morning, her eyes still rimmed red from crying. Looking at herself over the bathroom sink, she could almost hear the snide remarks from Emma, the concerned look Andrew would give her, the brotherly concern of Keith. Don't think of him, she ordered herself, sighing before pottering around and getting the shower running. She tried to decide what to tell Andrew, flicking back and forth between ideas before finally settling on the most basic one: the truth.

Or, at least some of it. She couldn't tell the whole truth to Andrew, or he'd get suspicious. But she could tell him enough that he would well and truly believe she wasn't on Keith's side. The red rimmed eyes would give it authenticity, she decided grimly and hoped that she could keep this up for another week. She was already cracking and it wasn't even half way through the week.

The rap on the door took her completely by surprise. She jumped, staring at the clock. It couldn't be time to go, surely...but yes, it was. She leaped down the stairs, opening the door just as Andrew raised his hand to knock again. Aw, hell, she thought. I must look bad, if he's looking at me like that. She swallowed before trying to smile. It didn't quite make it there before she flung herself into his arms, her head burrowing into his shoulder.

"Belinda, what happened?" Andrew exclaimed, his arms tight around her. "Is everything okay? Is your mum okay? Come on, talk to me!"

"I-I- oh Andrew, Keith came round yesterday," she began, her voice thick with tears and broken with sobbing. "It was horrible, he kept on saying how I had to believe him, how I couldn't go out with you anymore. Andrew, tell me he's lying, tell me you still love me."

After Andrew went through his reassurances, Belinda calmed down, her tears subsiding for the moment. She felt so anchored in his arms that she knew she could count on him, even if it was superficial. She wanted so badly to be held, she wanted to be loved. Even if it was the wrong person holding her.

At school, everyone was staring at her, gossiping about her red eyes. And she didn't care. She just needed to keep going, for four more days. But meeting Keith's eyes in maths, she saw the ripple of alarm go through him before the anguish set in. And then the confusion, the flicker towards Andrew and then back. She looked away, tears welling up again before she could stop them.

When she looked up at Andrew though, he was glaring daggers at Keith. Daggers...with a sharp edge of smugness. She shivered before holding him more tightly. But he still wasn't looking away from Keith. Slowly, she pulled him around to look at her. And slowly he pulled her lips to his. It was a sweet kiss, but obvious. She knew why he'd done it, and she wished she could be in the moment.

But she kissed back, and smiled as he pulled away. She didn't care if it was wrong, if she would miss him once he was gone. She just wanted this to last a little bit longer.