Fear is an understatement for what i feel. Do you ever get told by someone you think you could trust... Or even loved... that they would never even think about leaving you no matter how hard it got... be told you could tell them everything... show them everything... open up to them and even show them everything that you wouldn't even show your own family... yeah... me too... a few hundred times... and despite feeling that you should be okay with this... that you should be used to this feeling in your chest... that feeling where everything is tight... that you cant quite breathe or that the you've just stopped breathing... because i feel that feeling... everyday.... just because of the fear.... the fear that if i trust them... they'll do what everyone else did to you...that if you share to this new person...that they'll eventually do the same... but my fear doesn't just end there... there are going to be times... either years from now or in this current moment that you are reading this... you feel fear... one of those fears I personally have... is the fear to fall asleep... i am terrified of falling asleep... only because every time i close my eyes I open them again to the same scene over and over again... I always wake back up... stuck... upside down in a car... in the driver seat under water... every time i close my eyes i relive the scariest part of my life... and i personally don't know how to make it stop...just the same old line from everyone else around me... "you need to get over that." or, "that happened so long ago why can't you just let it go." When I can't... I can not let that go... because I do not know how to let that part of my life go...
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undisclosed
Non-Fictionthe mind of someone who has been told their feelings aren't valid, that their thoughts are just over exaggerated when they are real.
