August 24,2009
Dear diary,
Whenever someone talks about schizophrenia they always mention the usual; they are dangerous to not only society but to themselves. But what they fail to mention is how? See when I was 9, my brother James he took me to a doctor since he was worried about me. I never had no friends except for Luke, Jai, and beau. Though the reason why James was so worried was because see what we didn't know was that I'm schizophrenic. Meaning I see things and hear things that's not there. I later then discovered that my 3 best friends weren't real. They were just figments of my imagination. The doctor always told me that there was a reason that schizophrenic people see what they see. Its been 2 years since I was diagnosed and I still haven't found out why my mind pictured them. I mean I go to therapy to find out why. Most patients with the same medical issue find out why within their first few months to a year. Though I haven't found out mine. Daniel, James best friend says it's because I'm extra special. I never believed that because I'm just an ordinary gal but with schizophrenia. I guess we will see. What do you think?
" Are you guys ready now?" I groaned obviously tired of waiting on the idiotic boys.
"Babe chill just a few more seconds" looking at me with a evil gleam in his eyes as he was grabbing his milk gallon off the floor.
Chuckling knowing exactly why he was trying to piss Luke off. See the other day Luke "accidentally" told Gina that beau's girlfriend had a pregnancy scare, and the reaction from Gina was - well not pleasant you can say. Beau being beau is trying to get revenge, making me his pawn in his game. Though I was awoken from my thoughts when my best friend Jai scared the crap out of me. He was dressed as a clown. That's all I'm going to say about that. "Kimberly for fucks sake can you fucking start the camera already?!" My dearest friend said clearly annoyed at the fact he didn't see a reaction from luke. "Why didn't Luke do anything?" Daniel said while Luke was walking back to the front because he left his food dye. "So I'm not the only one questioning it?" Jai answered. "You guys didn't fight or anything right? Although you are my best friend he's my twin" "Nooo, never I mean Luke he's.. well it's indescribable what I feel for him. Like he really makes me happy. I smile and blush all the time thanks to him I look like a walking tomato. He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. Its cliche. But it's amazing. Its a thrill. Feeling the emotions, the tingles, but there is also what if's. It is a risk to fall in love. Like what if it doesn't work out. Ah, but what if it does. We'll have memories, I mean we are still young but maybe kids, a house, we are getting to that age. What if he doesn't truly accept me but when he does he's literally the one. Where i can have drool everywhere and be sick and he still wants to kiss me. Or he never wants to say good night because he's scared that he might not hear from me again. Everything in life is a risk. But love, love is the reason why we are here right? To love. Not only bf or gf. But also family, friends. I mean it's a risk to love friends if they back stab you but we still do it anyway because it's an amazing moment when you are laughing and crying bc of your friends. We shouldn't be scared of love since we loved a thousand times, but it's when you are really scared to love someone deeply is when you think he is the one that's going to turn your world upside down, he's going to be everything to you, I mean he can die and what would i do, but if he is the one, i shouldn't let him go or push him away because true love hardly appears in a humans life... I guess that's how I feel about Luke, I wouldn't want to do something to make him mad in the first place. I mean.." I stopped realizing something. "You are in love with him.." Daniel said smiling. "I'm in love with luke Anthony Mark Brooks.." I whispered still processing the words that just left my mouth. "Love?" James coughed up, "James stop being a big brother skit is at the age where she can love" Jai reported to my brother while wrapping one of his arms around my waist. "I'm back" Luke scream startling all of us making us scream, "what happened? On the count of three jai I want to see your arm of MY girls waist" said the man I mean boy I'm in love with said making me blush at the mention of him pointing out my girl more.
"Um" I coughed walking to the tripod "let's get started should we" blushing as a tomato I noticed seeing beau smirking at me.
"5,4,3,2.." I signalled with my fingers
"Hey.." beau started off
" hey guys we're dare sundays" Luke finished quickly making our heads turn to Luke then back to beau seeing him a bit angered
"WHY? WHY THE FUCK?" beau screamed
"Well you called my girlfriend 'babe' and tried to make me mad" Luke stated looking at me saying his remark which made me look at the ground like it's the most interesting thing in the world. "Also.." Luke then paused to walk towards me pulling me into the cameras view, me being the cluts I am almost tripped over the air. "This beautiful girl is name Kimberly she is obsessed with skittles and ice cream that's why I Nick named her skit.. she's my girlfriend" Luke said looking into my eyes. "They already know th.." I tried to reason but yet was interrupted "I'm madly in love with her" Luke smiled. "Kimberly" he said grabbing ahold of my hand "kimberly, kimberly!!" He said tightening his hold. "Luke, Luke stop you're hurting me" "KIMBE.."
