Chapter 4: Wishful Thinking

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Sohinki's POV

Joven has gotten me questioning my sexuality. It's strange but yet at the same time I don't seem to mind. I just want to see him again. I think the best part of Smosh Games isn't the videos we make or the games we play anymore, it's Jovenshire. I love seeing his stupid grin and I actually rather enjoy his "walrus" laugh. Everything he seems to do is cute to me now. I even have great dreams about him and I know I'm admitting all of this to myself but I shouldn't and won't tell anyone else. I don't think they would freak out because I'm gay, but because it's Joven who I like. They would probably say that he's an idiot and not attractive and I know this because those were my orignal thoughts, if someone else in the group came out saying they liked Jovenshire I would've probably joined the others saying that he's an unattractive idiot and how could anyone like him at one point but it now seems to be reversed. I want him and I to be together but I guess that would just be wishful thinking. There's no way he could be gay and if he was he wouldn't say aloud so I would never know and if he did come out as gay he wouldn't like me, I'm not attractive and I can be a big asshole at times. *sigh* I guess I'll just stick to my wishful thinking.

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