A Gothic Story: Choices

Since then I haven’t done much to be honest because I never thought that after “The Accident” I could do anything with my life, I mean wouldn’t you if you were completely alone. I felt like I was a failure to everyone around me, not that I had anyone; they all looked down on me as if to say “You don’t do anything day in day out, why are you even here?” It used to sadden me so much that I used to run away, and be where I thought I belonged. Secluded away from everyone else, alone, thinking, doing nothing else.  I used to hate it but I don’t now, it calms me down from one of my “Tan-trumps” as my auntie says. Somehow, “The Shadows” have a calming effect on me, which never used to happen; it is as if they are trying to tell me that I am not alone in this world and that people are still looking after me. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that that is completely bonkers ‘cause I just told you what happened to me seven years ago. You might wonder why there is a sudden change in how I am explaining “The Shadows” and their effect on me, but it all started to change dramatically 6 months ago.  

6 months ago when I meet Damon, he is breathtakingly beautiful, but also has the most mysterious aura surrounding him I have ever  felt around one person,  and so understanding of why I get so upset. That is only because he had exactly what happened to me happen to him, I know it sounds crazy and we are like long lost siblings, I scared me as well! Since then we have been spending a lot of time together connecting with the shadows, he sees them as well, how uncanny is that! He says that the doctor said the same to him as he did to me after he woke up. I can’t get my head around how similar we all are in so many ways. He recently enrolled into the same collage as me and says he wants to help me with the struggles of being one of “The Gifted”. The first time he said this to me I thought he was joking around, but I asked him what he meant anyway. He said that being one of “The Gifted” means that you had been given the gift to be able to see “The Shadows”. I laughed at that and dismissed the comment, but the more I thought about it afterwards the more and more real it seemed to me. Not that I would say it is a gift I would say it is a curse. Over the past few months Damon and I have been in the Cheddar tree woods next to my backyard. You might now ask what we have been doing, well here you are. 

Damon has been showing me how to manipulate “The Shadows” and how to get them to do what I want them to do such as move out of the way and move away when I am trying to think, not hanging over my head as if I’m in the middle of the night not the day. When we first started it took a look of concentrating and took a lot of energy from me, but it doesn’t do that anymore. Only because I am now a master at controlling “The Shadows”, that’s what Damon says. It comes to me now as if I’m riding my bike or writing, something which comes so naturally and without thinking. But, and it is a big but, there feels to me that there is more that I can learn about the “The Shadows” and that Damonis holding a lot of it back from me. This doesn’t make sense to me because I would tell him anything, if I knew it would help him, and we have known each other for 6 months now and he is the closest friend I have had in ages, and I think he feels the same about me. You see I lost all of my friends after “The Accident” because I had to move away, cause social services said that that was what would be better for me, I disagreed massively as you could imagine.

I challenged him about it a few days ago and his reaction was horrible, much worse than I thought it would be. When I started to ask him about it his faced changed slowly, first going white and whiter until he was as a pale as a sheet. Then his face started to contort into an expression which I couldn’t describe when it happened and I still can’t now. The only thing that can come close to describing it is that he looked like he had seen a ghost!

Since then he has become distant from me and he continually walks around as if he has a great weight bearing his shoulders. In the few days since I challenged him about it he hasn’t spoken to me once or even looked my way in class. Don’t you start to think that I have some sort of crazing crush on  him, I don’t, I’m just really worried about him and how what I said could have affected him that much. It has started to make me dull and grumpy and very unpleasant to be with and everyone at collage has started to avoid me, until yesterday.