Denying Affinity (Affinity #1)

End

I didn't move away from him. Our faces were a few inches apart and I could smell his sweet and minty breath. I stared at his parted lips that were slightly red from the kiss then looked at his eyes when I had the urge to kiss him again.

He was already staring at me when I transferred my eyes to his. I love and hate looking directly at Luke Dashiel. It makes me feel lost and  the worse part is that I don't mind not being found.

The remaining two days passed without me even realizing. I can hardly remember the things that happened. It felt like just two of my average days. Breakfast and dinner with my family, classes with Savion, and stolen moments with Luke Dashiel. It felt normal but not really.

My parents were in good terms again. I instantly knew that they're okay the moment they came home together, my mom holding a bouquet of tulips and my dad smiling with his eyes. What happened that night was never brought up again. It was like it never even happened.

Natigilan ako sa pag-iisip nang may pumalakpak na dalawang kamay malapit sa mukha ko. Inangat ko ang mga mata at nakita si Savion na nakangiti. Galing siya bar para bumili ng drinks namin. I noticed the small tray of shooter glasses filled with liquor on our table.

Tonight's our last hurrah, at least that's what Savion calls it. She's the one who coerced me into going out for a few drinks. Pumayag lang ako sa kanya dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko. I needed tonight. The diversion. The temporary amnesia. The fake courage.

"What's that?" tinuro niya ang kamay ko. Napatingin ako doon at nagulat pa nang makita ang hawak-hawak na susi. Hindi ko namalayan na pinaglalaruan ko na pala iyon. Napabuntong hininga ako at ibinaba ang susi sa ibabaw ng lamesa.

"A key." simpleng sagot ko.

Umirap si Savion at iritadong inabot ang shooter glass. "Natural. But for what?" nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin habang iniinom ang laman ng baso.

Napatingin ako sa susi. "Luke Dashiel's condo."

Bumalik ang mga mata ko kay Savion nang bigla siyang nasamid sa iniinom. I grimaced at her and chose to watch while she coughed herself to death.

Nang makabawi na siya sa pagkakasamid ay nanlalaki ang mga mata na tinitigan niya ako. "What?!"

The way she reacted made me feel uneasy. I squirmed on my seat and reached for a shooter glass to drink. She gave me a horrified look as I drank the liquor in one shot.

"You haven't..." hindi ko na siya pinatapos at tipid na umiling-iling. Suminghap si Savion sa naging sagot ko.

"God, Avis!" iritadong sabi sa akin ni Savion. Napapikit ako at naramdaman ang kirot sa dibdib ko. Nagiging regular na ang kirot na iyon sa puso ko nitong mga nakaraang araw kaya hindi na ako nagtataka sa tuwing nararamdaman ko iyon.

"Don't." I quietly murmured. That was enough to shut Savion up. She's frustrated but she won't say anything. Kung ano man ang sasabihin niya sa akin ay naisip ko na iyon. I've nagged myself enough, I don't need her to rub it in my face.

Savion obviously didn't want to spoil our night. She never brought it up again after that. Pagkatapos maubos ang alak na nasa mga shooter glasses ay bumili si Savion ng isang bucket ng may bottled smirnoff.

Kahit naubos ko na ang pangalawang bote ay matino pa rin ang pag-iisip ko. I can feel the slight effect of alcohol but not like my cousin who's already on her way to getting wasted. She's a giggling drunk.