The Voice and I

I sighed. I know I will never achieve a peaceful life until I’m out of their sight. And I think that’s the only thing to do if ever I start thinking to do what’s right, and also to survive this horrible selfish world. Bending over to get my bag, a small piece of crumpled paper met my shoulder. I looked up immediately, expecting to see a band of bitches snickering. I wasn’t disappointed. There they are, chuckling to themselves, happy to see me being mistreated. Ruth gestured me to open the paper. I didn’t hesitate since I knew what was concealed inside it. A message from hell. You are about to take to journey which shall cost you a lifetime of imprisonment with the morons.

Some people just think they are so important that they really are right. People like YOU are mostly, or more LIKELY to have the need to heed this advice. Die…..

I hate her. Who would even heed that advice? What kind of person will even do that? I smiled a bit as I realized what my thoughts had created. Sometimes, cheerleaders are the easiest people to take down, especially when they have a name to maintain. Now, who’s the kind of person that will write an advice like this? No other else than Ruth. The one and only, no doubt. Hahaha, I’m gonna use this against her. But, who would even listen to me? Angelika maybe, but she doesn’t listen well. I’m in a very distressing situation. Anyway, why would I even bother? After all, whatever I say or do is insignificant to their lives. I’ll prefer that much better. The feeling may not be mutual, but I hope it’s coming on.

So, here I am, sitting in this cramped seat, my flabs bulging, my eyes tired and feeling awkward. That’s life for people like me. Maybe I should heed her advice. Die. It’s not hard to do it, and not easy to convince myself to commit suicide. So, for an hour, I sat there, trying to listen to the teacher, trying to act normal, trying not to cry and trying to concentrate without thinking of food. At last, after an hour of torturous mental thoughts, the bell rang, and that is a good sign. But not all of it is good. The bitches are going to come after me. Maybe I could hide in the basement until classes’ ends. Good thing during break time, all students goes up to the main room and eat together too. Well, I’m not gonna eat today. I am going to hide.

So, taking courage not to think of the supernatural (ghosts, ghouls, demons, witches… etc), I ran and ran… and ran… until I reached the end of the corridor. Next, there is this flight of steps to accomplish, which I think is equal to about 5 floors. I groaned. I am tired, nervous and in a hurry to escape. So, with great hesitation and persuasion to myself, I carefully went down… down… down… down… and down…. Exhausted, I ran to the other end of the hall again. I fell and got up again. Sometimes, I slid. But it didn’t matter. I just want to hide myself again. When I had neared the end, I heard the bell ring five times. Oh no. This means, the classrooms I’m passing would be filled with students again. And then they’d see me, and I will be caught, and sent to the committee, then my parents are called, and they will torture me, and the witches will torment me more. Complicated.

Loud thundering sounds of footsteps was heard on the stairs, echoing in the hall. As if on cue, I began to move faster, opening the heavy door with all my strength. It’s a good thing I’m fat, and I am able to open it without exerting much force. The door opened just enough for me to fit in (flabs included) and close enough to secure fast. Once inside, I nervously listened to the noise outside. Whispers, laughter and… bullying. Yep. Very annoying. Still, I was relieved to had escaped cruelty, that I hid myself in one of the dusty old books that lay in one corner and nestled there, therefore fell into sleep. I didn’t care about anything else; I just want to be alone. I’m tired of thinking such thoughts; I’m tired of being discriminated. So, not taking note of the time, I let my mind drift for a while, let myself think of happy thoughts.