MLP: EG Parody:
Thanksgiving was just less than a day away, and as the scheduled half day had drawn to a close, the students of Canterlot High were anxious to return home and enjoy their four-day break with their family and friends.
After gathering her things from her locker, Sunset Shimmer had decided to stick around for a while and watch some classic crime shows on her laptop, with Pinkie Pie and Sonata Dusk joining in as well.
"And now, back to "Old Timey Crime Theatre"." an announcer said.
"Shh! Shh! Guys, it's back on!" called out Sonata.
The black-and-white program depicted a stereotypical mustachioed criminal running off with an innocent man's wallet.
"Hahahaha!"
"*gasp* Stop! Thief!"
"Which way did he go?" asked a pair of officers.
"He went that way!"
Thankfully, the police had caught the criminal and returned the stolen wallet back to the victim.
"Curses! Foiled again!" yelled the thief in defiance as he was locked up.
"Sheesh! What a no-good, piece-of-crap that guy was!" expressed Sunset in disgust. "There's nothing worse than a thief in my opinion! In fact, to further elaborate, thieves need to be locked up forever! They should all be strung up by their necks until dead, and drawn and quartered for all to see! And believe me, I'm from Equestria! So I should have no problem quartering someone. Sonata! You of all people should know this, right?"
"Uh..." Sonata replied with an awkward feeling.
"But, Sunny..." Pinkie stated. "What about all the stuff you stole?"
"Huh?! Whaddya talkin' about?" questioned Sunset bewilderingly.
"Like that laptop! It says, "Property of PC Central"."
"Oh! Um, yeah... that's... where... I... rent my electronics from!"
"Are ya renting that mouse too?"
"Well... no."
"Then ya bought it."
"Well not exactly..."
"Then isn't that stealing?!?!"
"Well, erm, stealing i-is such a strong word... and..."
"Well, what about this towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna?" Sonata added.
"Oh, uh... well, I..."
"And this school office phone?" Pinkie further added.
"Oh, that's..."
"And AJ's hedge clippers?" asked Sonata.
"Oh, those are..."
"And Adagio's lawn mower?" Pinkie inquired.
"Oh, well she..."
"*gasp* Even Princess Twilight's hair curlers?!"
"Ayayayaya! That one was a gift!!! Listen, you guys... all that stuff is... um... borrowed!"
"Borrowed?" queried Sonata.
"Whew! Well, that's a relief!" continued Pinkie. "I thought you took all that stuff without permission!"
"Ahh, permission smermission!" retorted Sunset. "The way I see it, you can borrow anything ya like, anytime, as long you bring it back before it's missed. Everyone knows that! Right?"
"Okay!" replied Pinkie and Sonata in unison.
"All right then! Hugs? I guess I'll see you guys, erm, uh, never! And we'll never speak about that stuff again! Bye bye now!" said Sunset as she pushed her friends out the door.
"But, Sunny, we're still on for Thanksgiving dinner, right?" asked Pinkie.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. See ya later!"
Sunset then proceeded to back to her locker where she slid her back on the front of the locker door and gave a sigh of a relief.
"Whew, that was a close one!" said Sunset as she pulled out Twilight's hair curlers.
After being forced out of the school, Pinkie and Sonata had decided to go to the park and hang out there for a while, but immediately became bored.
"What do you wanna do today?" asked Pinkie stupidly.
"I dunno, what do you wanna do today?" asked Sonata in a similar fashion.
"I dunno, what do you wanna do today?"
"I dunno! What do you wanna do today?! Hee hee!"
"I dunno, what do you wanna do today?"
The pair soon came up to a balloon vendor, where Sonata's face immediately lit up with excitement.
"*gasp* I know what I wanna do today! I need some money......"
Sonata frantically searched for any spare change in both her pockets but couldn't find any. However, she noticed Adagio and Aria in the park as well and ran up to them. As an "odd" last resort, she began searching Adagio's hair for any money, but unsurprisingly, it was to no avail.
"Aww, I don't have any money......." groaned Sonata as she went back to Pinkie.
Adagio only looked confused. "D-did she just-?"
"Don't. Question. It." Aria retorted.
"Pinkie! I want a balloon really, really, badly!... really... really... BADLY..." Sonata pleaded as her eyes widened.
"It's alright, Sonata! There's always money in the First National Bank of Pinkie! Follow me!!!"
As Pinkie somehow took Sonata for a ride on a magical rainbow slide, she would later find out that she herself was also in need of some money.
"Uh oh. I'm broke too." said Pinkie as she looked at her empty pot. "Hey, I know! Maybe we can borrow money from Rarity..."
Sonata immediately stopped Pinkie. "W-w-wait! Instead of borrowing the money... why don't we just borrow the balloon?"
Pinkie smiled. "Oh yeah! Like Sunset Shimmer!"
"It's just borrowing, right?"
"Yeah! And borrowing is okay as long as you bring it back!"
As the balloon salesman is handing a balloon to a kid, Pinkie swiftly but stealthily takes one while the salesman is still preoccupied. Overjoyed at finally acquiring a balloon, both girls jump with glee as they ran off into the city to play with it.
"This is so great!" exclaimed Sonata.
"Oh man, we're gonna have so much fun!" cheered Pinkie. "First we can run with the balloon!"
"Yeah! And then we can go to the beach with the balloon!"
"Ooh, ooh! Then we can take a bike ride with the balloon, then go to the movies and the arcade and the ice rink and the pizza shop! And-!"
"And the moon and the sky and under a car and behind the dumpster!"
"And the candy shop!"
"And in my backyard!"
"And in a plane!"
"And over a rock!
"And under a hill!"
"And with a whale!"
"Yeah! And- wha-huh? Oh, well..." Pinkie shrugged off.
"WE LOVE BORROWING!!!" exclaimed Pinkie and Sonata in unison.
However, without warning, the balloon popped.
"It... popped..." realized Pinkie.
After realizing what just happened, Pinkie and Sonata darted their faces up, staring at each other for a moment before screaming in panic.
"AAAHHHHHH!!!!"
"Oh no, how are we gonna return it now, Pinkie?!"
"Um, um.... *gasp* I know! I've got the pieces!"
"I've got the air!" Sonata said after literally putting her hands on the "air."
"Hurry, hurry! Put the pieces on!"
Unsurprisingly however, the balloon pieces fell to the ground, damaged beyond repair.
"Oh no, Sonata! We popped the balloon!"
"No..."
"We can't return it!"
"No..."
"We're thieves!"
"No!!!!"
"We have to *gulp* confess!!"
"*gasp* Confess?!?! Are you crazier than usual, Pinkie?! Do you have any idea of what they do to people like us?! We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking here! WE STOLE A BALLOON!!!!!" screamed Sonata loudly onto some passersby. "And then they're gonna lock us up forever!"
"You're right, Sonata. We just have to stay calm. Don't freak out and play it cool. Act natural..."
Soon however, ignoring their own advice, Pinkie and Sonata began to dance wildly on the floor, bouncing up and down, and making incoherent noises. All while their dancing attracted the attention of people walking by.
"Wow! Street performers!" pointed out Minuette. "Whoo! Go Pinkie!"
"It's not working! AAAHHHHH!!!!" Pinkie and Sonata panicked as they ran away.
However, as they ran, they accidentally bumped into the balloon salesman's cart; the same exact balloon salesman whom they "stole" the balloon from.
"Hi there!" greeted the salesman.
"AAAAHHHHH!!!" screamed the girls as they ran away after realizing who he was.
"Hey! Don'tcha want a free balloon? It's National Free Balloon Day!"
Believing they were being "followed" by the salesman, both Pinkie and Sonata realized they had no choice but to leave town.
"Oh, Pinkie! He's onto us!"
"*pant* *pant* It's not safe in town anymore!" exclaimed Pinkie. "We gotta move fast and cover our tracks!"
"I'm on it, Pinkie!"
Literally following Pinkie's advice, Sonata whipped out a bucket of red paint out of nowhere and began to actually "cover" their tracks by brushing on a line of red paint on the ground as they ran. After running for a bit, the pair eventually reached the outskirts of town, saddened as they looked back on it.
"Take a last good look, Sonata. We can never go back..."
"Goodbye, town!"
"Well, we've only got ourselves... and what we can carry on our backs." replied Pinkie carrying a hobo stick.
"Yup...... hrrghh!!" grunted Sonata after trying to carry her house in a hobo stick. "Yeesh, this is heavy!"
"W-what the?!" questioned Aria confusingly as she peeked her head out of the window.
"Sonata?! What is the meaning of this?!" interrogated Adagio. "And........ how'd the house even get here?"
"We're gonna have to travel lighter, Sonata..." stated Pinkie.
With that in mind, Pinkie and Sonata walked off into the sunset, seemingly to never return back home.
......
......
......
"Uh...... guys?" Aria asked.
"What about our house?" queried Adagio.
After walking for a few hours, the night had already started to settle in. So the two decided to rest for a bit and build a fire to keep themselves warm.
"I wanna go home..." said a distraught Sonata.
"We can never go home, Sonata." responded Pinkie. "We're wanted thieves! We'll spend the rest of our lives running... and running... out into the cold, cold world."
"I'm scared, Pinkie."
Much to her horror, Pinkie soon realized what they'll be missing due to their departure.
"Oh no, Sonata... I just thought of something. Something..... horrible. No more nice, warm beds......."
"Huh?"
"No more cupcakes! No more getting mail! *gasp* No more tacos!"
"No!" replied Sonata as she curled up in a fetal position, sucking her thumb.
"No more Gummy! No more movies! No more Rarity! No more Applejack or Rainbow Dash or Sunset Shimmer! No more anything!!!" said Pinkie after reading a list of the things they'll be missing. "No!!!"
"Waahhh!!! I want tacos!" cried Sonata.
However, despite all these downsides, Pinkie began to take a more methodical look on the positives of "being on the run."
"But it doesn't have to be all bad, right." said Pinkie as she wiped away her tears. "*sniff* I mean... at least we still have each other!"
"Oh yeah!" agreed Sonata.
"And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?"
And in that moment, somewhere in the universe, a well-shaped man could be seen agreeing with Pinkie.
"Ja! Buns and thighs."
Sonata began to join in on the optimism as well.
"And the bitter cold, it's bracing! Isn't it?"
"Yeah!" replied Pinkie after somehow turning into a snowman. "Maybe being a felon could be..... fun!"
"Alright!" commended Sonata.
"Oh hey! You know what else? We could loosen our ties!"
"Yeah!" replied Sonata after loosening the tie holding her somehow inflated head. "And we can fly!"
"Yeah!" answered Pinkie after jumping off a cliff. "AAHHHHHH!!!! *crash* Okay... we still can't do that..." Pinkie said weakly.
Rejoining Sonata, seemingly uninjured from the fall, Pinkie continued to list some more advantages.
"Hey, y'know what? We don't even have to shave!"
"Heh heh.... way ahead of ya, Pinkie." Sonata replied after showing her armpits and legs.
A little grossed out, Pinkie replied "O-kay, maybe scratch that....... heh heh. But you also get to talk tough! Ahem...... This town ain't big enough fer the two of us!" said Pinkie in a deep, gruff voice.
"Hee hee!" Sonata chuckled. "Oh, here let me try: Uh...... hey, punk! Heh heh..."
"And the best part is," Pinkie continued. "Now that we're felons, we don't have to return anything we borrow!"
"Yeah!" exclaimed the self-proclaimed criminals in unison.
"And we owe it all to you!" commended Sonata playfully to Pinkie.
"C'mon, whaddya talkin' about? Taking the balloon was your evil plan! Heh heh!" replied Pinkie.
"Oh, I'm nothin' but a lot of talk. You're the one with the sticky fingers!"
"Aww, Sonata!" blushed Pinkie. "You're the best bad influence ever!"
"You too!" Sonata replied as the two embraced.
And while they've embraced the life of being a criminal, they've forgotten one, small, important thing......
Sonata's stomach soon grumbled. "I wish we had something to eat, though..."
"Hmm..... *gasp* Wait a minute! Look what I've got!" exclaimed Pinkie.
"Rectangles!" Sonata cheered gleefully.
"Not just any rectangles! Candy bars!"
"Ooh..."
"All we have to do is make 'em last for the rest of our lives!"
After receiving a candy bar, Sonata immediately popped the confection into her mouth, wrapper and all before trying to take a bite again.
"Thanks, Pinkie! I think I'll eat it now! *munch* Mmm, yummy!....... I think I'll eat it now! *bite* Owwie! Huh?" Sonata asked after biting her hand. "Hey, where'd my candy bar go?! Oh, I must've dropped it!"
"Ya just ate it, Sonata." clarified Pinkie. "It's all over your face."
"Oh where'd it go?! I'm gonna starve!"
Worried that she may perish from hunger, Sonata began frantically digging a hole into the dirt looking for her candy bar, completely unaware that the dirt began to cover Pinkie. As she went back up for some air, she popped up under Pinkie and in her hand, Sonata noticed something familiar......
"I can't find it! Oh where could it possibly be?!" panicked Sonata as she looked up. "*gasp* Ah-ha!!!"
"What?" queried Pinkie.
"You!!" Sonata yelled as she angrily pointed her finger. "You stole my candy bar!!!"
"Huh?! No I didn't!"
Even more pissed off, Sonata stood out with her arms akimbo. "Oh, so that's how it is, huh?! Once a thief, always a thief!"
"You ate yours! This is mine!"
"You took my only food! Now I'm gonna starve...." said Sonata despite already standing on a bag already filled with food.
Pinkie however, still tried to be a good person, despite Sonata's refusal of believing her.
"Here, Sonata. Just take half of mine...."
"Yours?! You mean mine!"
"Well, do ya want it or what?!"
"I don't want it unless you admit you took it!"
"Sonata, this is my candy bar!"
"Liar, liar, plants for hire!"
"*facepalms* Ugh, it's "pants on fire", Sonata....."
"Well you would know!......... Liar........."
Seeing as how it's now impossible to even reason with the stubborn Sonata, Pinkie decided to do something else.....
"Well, if you're gonna be that way.... I'll eat it myself!"
Sonata's eyes immediately widened. "Grrgh, you better not!"
Pinkie only retorted by unwrapping her chocolate bar.
Sonata grew even angrier. "I'm warning you!"
Pinkie then stuck her tongue out and slowly inched it towards the chocolate bar, just barely touching it.
"Don't!"
Now she began to chomp lightly.
"Aaaahhh!!!!"
Pinkie now incorporated a multitude of bizzare and disturbing ways to taunt Sonata with the chocolate bar. From scraping her front teeth onto it, to sliding it back and forth through her ear holes, and licking it all over once more. Finally, Pinkie inserted the "tortured" chocolate into her mouth and began to chew.
Sonata couldn't believe what she just witnessed. "You're..... you're....... you're a crazy person! I should've expected this after the way you stole that balloon!"
"Oh reaaaaaaaally now?! Did I, Sonata? Did I?! Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?!"
"*gasp* Oh, that's it! Aaaahhh!!!!!" yelled Sonata in pain as she accidentally stomped her foot onto the fire. "First the balloon, now my candy bar! Y-you're outta control! And I-! I'm-!.......... I'm telling on you!"
"*gasp* Not if I tell on you first!" Pinkie yelled as she sprang up and made a run for it.
"Grrgh, oh no, you won't!"
Now in a race towards the police department, Pinkie and Sonata frantically sprinted for their lives.
"*pant* *pant* You're gonna get in trouble!"
"*pant* *pant* No! *pant* *pant* You are!"
After finally arriving at the station, Pinkie and Sonata tried to explain the whole situation to an officer.
"*pant* *pant* She.. When.. Her! A-and the balloon!.. and the *boom* I... I, uh...." the girls attempted to state.
Confused, the officer replied "Yeah, uh, what can I do for you girls?"
After tearfully staring at each other for a moment, Pinkie and Sonata both realized that there was no purpose in trying to point fingers at each other, and now proceeded to fess up to their "crime."
"WE STOLE A BALLOON!!!!" sobbed the both of them hysterically.
"What's the problem here?" a second officer asked.
"Hmm, well it appears these two seemed to have stole a balloon."
"Stole a balloon?"
"Mhm."
"*sniff* What.... What are you gonna do to us?" Pinkie asked.
After whispering to each other for a brief moment, the policemen had now decided Pinkie and Sonata's fate.
"Okay, follow me."
The officer then directed the two into a cell....
"If ya can't do the time, don't do the crime......"
........
........
........
"Okay, time's up. Now get out!"
"B-but why?" Pinkie questioned. "We stole a balloon!"
"Yeah.... on Free Balloon Day!" the officers clarified before emitting into a roaring laughter, leaving Pinkie and Sonata dumbfounded.
Relieved that they were never really wanted by the law in the first place, Pinkie and Sonata bade the officers farewell, but not before being presented with a treat.
"How 'bout some lollipops to hold ya over until Thanksgiving?"
"Gee, thanks! Oh, and hey, Sonata?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's vow never to borrow anything without permission again!"
"You said it! Cheers?"
"Cheers!"
But as Pinkie and Sonata toasted their lollipops, Sonata's mysteriously went missing.
"Huh?! Grrgh... alright, which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop?!" Sonata interrogated with lollipop residue on her mouth.
Dismissing her questioning as sarcasm, Pinkie, the officers, and later even Sonata laughed in unison.
"Hahahaha!" chortled Pinkie. "Oh, brother....."
"I mean it."
The End...
Spongebob Squarepants (Plus Parodies)
Start from the beginning
