The Monster Inside Peter Pan (ouat)//(Robbie Kay)

Chapter Eighteen

13th day in Neverland

Alianna's point of view

The days seemed to blend together in a timeless blur. I had sunk in a sort of routine, eating and training in the morning with Derek and Jake, ignoring the hate coming from Sam and Ian, a quiet stroll through the woods with only Derek and I, or a dip in the river, stealing kisses when no one was looking. I sometimes saw glimpses of Pan's authoritative green clad figure passing through the clearing or speaking with one of the Lost Boys, usually Felix, but he left me alone, which was fine by me.

I should have felt perfectly happy if it weren't for two things. I still missed Ethan and Jason more than ever, but I also had a small nagging feeling that I was leading Derek on.

Sure, he was great. Perfect really. He was sweet, affectionate, gentlemanly, funny and strong, but I just felt like something was wrong. Like I was a heartless bitch who made guys fall in love with her for her selfish means. Like I didn't deserve him.

Sometimes at night when I lay in my bed awake, I try to reason with myself, saying that it was my only choice and that Derek had agreed it was the only way, but I still feel like I'm using him.

Cut out of it, I told myself sternly. You'll only worsen your state of mind.

I'd just had a great bath in the little water source that ended in a circular rock pool, and I felt fresh and clean as I walked across the dormitory to my room.

Entering the small hall, I heard elevated voices coming from the private room I'd only entered once before, where Pan went to have private discussions.

I was curious so I inched closer, ear pressing against the door.

"I don't care if she won't tell you anything!" Pan snarled. He sounded agitated, but in his ever impassive and sarcastic voice it was prominent. "Torture her if you have to. I don't care as long as she tells us what he is up to. Do whatever it takes, but tomorrow, I want results."

"I-I'll try." Felix's voice came to me quavering slightly, and I heard footsteps.

If I'd reacted a second later he would've seen me, but I dove into my room and onto my bed, pretending to be resting.

I watched Felix storm out of the room, too preoccupied to notice anything was amiss.

I was horrified. They were going to torture someone for information? I couldn't let that happen. No one deserved that, no matter what they'd done.

I sneaked out of my room and past the open door. I dared a peek inside and I saw a very tense Pan leaning over his desk, running his hand restlessly through his hair, muttering curses under his breath.

Not wanting to get caught, I continued on, following Felix out of the dorm. I'd hoped that Derek or Jake would've been in the clearing so that I could signal for them to follow me without losing sight of Felix, but no such luck. They were nowhere to be seen.

Hunching determinedly my shoulders, I entered the forest alone at a grand distance from Felix, so that I was barely able to discern his shadow in the semidarkness that hung eternally in these woods.

We walked for a good half hour. It was tiring work, ducking under branches and jumping over fallen trees, continually on the guard so as to not make any noise that could alert him of my presence.

Once I stepped on a twig and it cracked and Felix sharply turned to face the sound but I'd ducked behind a clump of bushes before he could see me. He'd looked suspiciously around before deciding it had just been an animal. He continued on and I'd let out a relieved breath, I didn't know what would happen to me if he found me but I didn't want to find out.