Light in Oblivion [Narcissa/Lucius, Second Wizarding War]

Chapter Nine: The Black Sisters

"Not intentionally. He does love you," said Bellatrix, and it sounded to Narcissa that the words were borderline painful for her sister to say. "But look at what's happened. You are hurting—I can see it clearly, even when you refuse to talk to me and run off to Lara instead. You're suffering because you're with him and now he's in Azkaban for Merlin-knows-how-long. I never wanted that for you."

"What about when you were in Azkaban for more than a decade?"

Silence dropped like lead over the room, and the two women stared at one another. The words had been threatening to burst from Narcissa's lips since her sister had escaped from the prison roughly a year previously, but she'd always managed to hold them back until now. How dare Bellatrix fault Lucius for being taken away from Narcissa when she'd allowed the same to happen to herself so many years before?

"You think I wanted to be locked up?" asked Bellatrix, scowling.

"Didn't you?" Narcissa challenged. "I was at your trial, Bella. You didn't even try to defend yourself. Your loyalty has always been to the Dark Lord, and you were willing to go to Azkaban for him."

"Of course I was! I dedicated my life to serving him, and I knew that when he freed us, we would be rewarded for our loyalty—Rodolphus and Rabastan and me! I've earned that reward, Narcissa! I've earned my time on the outside, now! That doesn't mean I wanted to spend half my life in prison! I had no idea how long I was going to be there, and—"

"But you didn't think about any of that, did you?" Narcissa pressed. Bellatrix had leaned forward in her chair, her voice rising with the passion she'd channeled into her words, but Narcissa forced her own tone to remain as calm as she could manage in order to keep her emotions under her control. She'd shed entirely too many tears, lately, and she didn't want to seem weak to this woman who had faced the prospect of life in prison while sitting in her sentencing chair as though it were a throne. "You didn't consider that the Dark Lord could've left you there. Or if he hadn't returned—"

"I knew he would return!"

"But you were willing to take your chances, if he didn't." Narcissa laid Lucius's letter on the table beside her in order to keep herself from damaging it, as her other hand had already tightened reflexively on the arm of her chair until her knuckles had turned white. "Lucius was willing to lie for you, to protect you. He tried to tell the Ministry you'd acted under the Imperius Curse, and when you made it perfectly clear that you'd acted of your own volition, it almost destroyed his credibility. I almost lost both of you, right then. I would've been here with my year-old son while the two people I love most apart from him were taken away. Don't you see that, Bella? Don't you see that you chose the Dark Lord over me fifteen years ago?"

The anger slowly drained from Bellatrix's face, replaced over the moments that followed with shock and—Narcissa's stomach twisted at the sight, and she wished immediately that she hadn't said a word on the subject—pain. She opened her mouth, prepared to apologize for getting carried away. She'd meant every word, but normally, she never would've said any of it aloud. She'd been trained by their parents to keep her feelings to herself when they ran the risk of slightly inconveniencing someone else, and though she'd worked for years to rid herself of this mentality, this time, she wished she'd obeyed what Cygnus and Druella had tried to force on her so long ago.

Before she could take anything back, however, Bellatrix spoke.

"That's why you talk to Lara and not me, isn't it?"

Narcissa sighed, relaxing her grip on the chair's arms. The fight had all but gone out of her, for the moment, and she simply felt tired. "It's why I didn't feel like I could tell you what happened, when you and Draco left me alone with the Dark Lord."

"I..." Bellatrix frowned, looking down at her knees for a moment as she worked at the words she wanted to convey. "I never looked at it like a choice," she said at last, her focus shifting to Narcissa once more. "That's never what it was, to me—at least not a choice between him and you. I chose to serve him, but I never wanted to hurt you. I knew I might not get out again, but while I ignored what Lucius was trying to do to get me freed, I knew he was going to be out here with you. That you'd be safe. It never crossed my mind that it would matter if I wasn't part of that."

"Of course it mattered, Bella." Despite her best efforts to keep her tears away, Narcissa felt them starting to form. "You're my sister. I love you."

Bellatrix watched Narcissa for a moment, and then she stood, closing the remaining distance between them to lean down and embrace her. The gesture felt awkward physically, as though it had been years since Bellatrix had attempted anything like it, but the sentiment was clear, and Narcissa held onto her tightly.

"I love you, too," Bellatrix muttered. "Now are you going to tell me what happened?"

Narcissa shook her head, leaning back to meet her sister's gaze, and Bellatrix straightened to her full height as she stood beside the chair.

"Why the hell not?"

"I don't want to think about it," said Narcissa. "But I give you my word that if something else happens, you'll be the first one I tell, if that's what you want."

Bellatrix sighed and nodded, frowning slightly. She didn't appear thrilled by the answer, but she wasn't arguing, which was progress, in Narcissa's opinion.

"Will you at least tell me if that one's okay?" asked Bellatrix, pointing toward Narcissa's stomach.

"Perfectly fine."

Bellatrix nodded again, and then she yawned.

"Go rest, Bella," said Narcissa. "We'll talk more later." She drew the letter back into her lap. After her sister had gone, she planned to begin her reply to Lucius.

Bellatrix started toward the door, gesturing to the letter as she walked. "Tell him I would've liked a 'hello.'"

"I will."

As Bellatrix left the room, Narcissa looked down at the letter she held once more, a faint smile on her lips.