Help! I'm the Plot Device: Just Here to Save the Heroes

Kitty, Pour Me Another Cup

"Mm. Book. Bad book." Jerry waved a hand lazily. "Unfinished, torn pages, nonsense, cliffhangers. Why do all of you... hic... die?" His voice cracked, genuine for a breath.

"Very well." Yan An smirked. "Then why did second Prince Yichen follow me?"

Jerry leaned in, voice dropping, "To make sure you don't end up dead. Or..." His eyes darted around, then dropped to a whisper. "Or kill the Crown Prince."

Yan An's eyes glinted. "Wouldn't it be better for you if he were gone?"

Jerry slammed his fist weakly on the table. "No way! Hic-he can't die. You can't die either."

"Why not?"

Jerry's eyes glassed. "My life depends on you. I already died... nine times. Don't wanna die again."

Yan An stiffened. "Nine...?"

The System screeched, "Host! You're spilling everything-"

Jerry put a finger to his lips. "Shhh! Quiet. Hic-" He leaned closer to Yan An, breath warm, words slurred. "I know how it feels... to die an unjust... meaningless... tragic death. You're too pretty for that. Both of you."

Yan An blinked. "Pretty?"

Jerry giggled, hiccupped. "Don't worry, kitty. I'll... I'll fix it all. Save you. Save me too." He scratched lazily at Yan An's chin with a crooked grin. "Meow."

The System groaned. "Host... you'll regret this when you wake up."

Jerry chuckled, "I regret everythin' anyway. Hic."

Yan An's eyes narrowed, hand snapping out to grab his wrist-just as a shadow fell over the table.

Yuanzhou stood there, plain robes unable to dull the weight of his presence. His eyes locked on Jerry, then on Yan An.

Jerry blinked at Yuanzhou, then broke into a sudden sloppy grin. "Neo...?" He threw his arms around Yuanzhou's waist. "Neo! Oh wait-hic-you're not Neo..." He blinked, pulled back, then gasped dramatically. "It's the Crown Prince!"

Before either man could react, Jerry staggered up and performed a sweeping bow that ended with his head smacking the table. "Take my bow, xiao Dianxia!"

The tavern fell quiet. A few heads turned.

Yan An shot to his feet, quickly clamping a hand over Jerry's mouth. His gaze flicked around-already, a few drunken patrons had turned curious eyes their way.

Yuanzhou's voice was calm, but the steel in it carried. "I'll take him back with me."

Yan An arched a brow, lips curving faintly. "Dragging him out in this state will only draw more eyes to you, Your Highness. I imagine you'd prefer to avoid gossip."

Yuanzhou's expression didn't shift. "I don't mind. He is my brother. Yan daren, you should better stay out of this."

Jerry stirred, hiccuping between their standoff. "Heh-hic-he got a point..."

Yan An's smile sharpened, fingers drumming against the table. "But I invited him to drink with me. Doesn't that make me responsible for sending him back safely?"

Jerry blinked at him blearily and raised a finger as though casting a vote. "Ohhh, you got a point too-hic." His body slumped sideways. Yan An caught him with an easy grip around the waist.

"Steady," Yan An murmured.

Jerry blinked blearily, then patted Yan An's chest, fingers poking curiously. "Wow... that's a big... hic... chest wall. No-body. Yeah. Big body." He gave another poke. "Firm. Like... rock."

The System all but howled. "Host, not even gods can save you from this one."

Yuanzhou's eyes narrowed, voice edged. "Ran Yi. Take him."

The guard moved, but Jerry shoved him weakly away. "Don't-don't touch me." He staggered into Yuanzhou's arms instead, blinking glassy-eyed up at him. He sniffed once, then clasped both of Yuanzhou's shoulders with surprising earnestness.

"You're such a good boy..." Jerry slurred, tapping Yuanzhou's shoulder. "...then how did you turn into something like-" His voice broke off as his weight collapsed fully.

Yuanzhou caught him without effort, jaw tightening.

Ran Yi stepped forward, hoisting Jerry onto his back.

Yan An eyes gleamed with amusement. "Prince Yichen certainly has... colorful personality."

Yuanzhou met his gaze, cold and unwavering. "Yan daren. Thank you for keeping an eye on my brother. But remember-" his voice lowered just enough for only Yan An to hear, "-not everything that looks like a weakness is one."

Yan An's lips curved, bowing with mock civility. "Yes, Xiao Dianxia. You are so wise."

Yuanzhou allowed the faintest smile, thin as a blade's edge, before turning away. With Ran Yi carrying Jerry, he strode out of the tavern, leaving behind the faint tang of tension that clung thicker than wine.

Yan An's eyes followed their retreat, his smirk lingering. "Weakness or bait, hm?" he murmured to himself, sipping the last of his wine.

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