Help! I'm the Plot Device: Just Here to Save the Heroes

Kitty, Pour Me Another Cup

Next came the Imperial Kitchens. The scent of roast duck and steamed buns filled the air, making Jerry's stomach growl. He slowed, tempted. A cook spotted him, nearly dropping his ladle before falling into a bow.
"Wangye!"
Jerry coughed into his sleeve, trying to look regal. "Carry on."

The Lotus Pavilion was quiet, petals drifting across the pond. A young maid was kneeling, changing the water in flower vases. She looked up nervously when Jerry passed.
"System," Jerry whispered in his mind, "is she important?"
"Just background," the system answered.
Jerry muttered, "With my luck, she's probably a spy."

Halfway through the walk, Jerry paused by the Eastern Gate, staring at the watchtowers beyond. Guards in armor patrolled with precision. One of them stopped, giving Jerry a cold look that made him stiffen.
The system quickly supplied: "That's Captain Wei, commander of the Eastern Watch. Don't mess with him."
Jerry forced a princely nod, nearly tripping over his own robes as he walked away. So many hidden bosses in this place...

By the time he circled back to his courtyard, sweat beaded his brow. The palace felt endless-like a gilded maze where every corner hid another way to die.

He dropped onto a stone bench under a magnolia tree, tugging at his collar.
"System, I call false advertisement. You said it was a simple tour."
"It was simple," the system said cheerfully. "You didn't die or end up in a mess."
Jerry flung his arms out. "Not dying is apparently my biggest achievement now!"

Jerry let out a breath and muttered to the system,
"Tell me honestly... is there anyone in this empire I haven't managed to mess with at least once?"

The system hummed. "I would say that's a 'no,' Host."

Jerry groaned. "Oh, that's promising."

"You can count Xu Ming, if you exclude the time you tried to drown him in the-hmm-Dragon King temple pond when you were children."

Jerry's voice shot out of him before he could stop it.
"WHAT?!"

His shout echoed across the courtyard. Several passing eunuchs and maids froze, wide-eyed. Jerry gave them a weak smile and waved.
"Carry on, carry on... just rehearsing lines for... er, poetry recitation."

They scurried off, whispering. Jerry muttered under his breath,
"So he tried to drown his only friend?"

The system, ever calm: "Technically yes. Though after that, they became friends. Trauma bonding works wonders."

Jerry rubbed his face. "So in short... both of them are psychos."

"Apparently."

"Brilliant. I'm surrounded by lunatics." He sighed and walked on, too lost in muttering insults at the system to notice his surroundings changing.

The carefully trimmed hedges gave way to cracked stone paths. Decorative lanterns turned sparse, then absent. Moss clung to the walls, and the air grew damp, smelling faintly of rust and dust.

It wasn't until an echo thundered down the corridor-"FATHER!"-that Jerry froze.

The voice was sharp, commanding, and unmistakable. Zhao Yuanzhou.

Jerry spun around, heart plummeting. The once-bright corridors now looked like they belonged to a forgotten wing, shuttered and abandoned. His throat went dry.
"Oh boy... I'm going to die."

"Host, hide," the system barked.

Jerry didn't wait for a second warning. He sprinted, robes flapping, darting through the half-lit hallway until he spotted a half-open door. He slipped inside and pressed his back to the wall, gasping.