Why can't you

Who are we?

So like we going to move? Having been looking into the sky for the past half an hour after V's brutal leave I'm caught off guard from old (Y/N). yeah I'm good, just thinking is all, mate we are in yer head I know you've been thinking. It's Just... I don't know at least try and understand what V's going through. That's all I'm asking.

Not hearing anymore after that even older (Y/N) doesn't make a snarky comment. A deep heavy sigh comes out of me. I do get it. But why me. I never asked to be here in this body that's not mine, I never asked to be made from a clash of identity two opposite had and I never asked to have their consequences put on me... "I should go for a walk..."

Starting a slow and equally small trip around the ruined city that once house thousands I start observing its structures to take my mind off things.

Cars litter the streets with most having no glass or little left, their forms sometimes even buried nearly past the wheels in big snow clumps, in some the sight of a skeleton greets you as a grimful reminder. Tall to small buildings flow along side the path the cracked white road makes, their windows smashed in except those that hide in back alleys as their glass was protected from the shock wave the core made. The walls coated in snow, and over time draining any colour they could have had. On the sidewalk I passing the odd skeleton or two that lay with their cloths in near perfect condition as though the cold preserved them in a time capsule, some by their selfs or at times holding each other in their final moments.

Jumping over a small but large enough crater that was blocking the path I notice a red shine to it, curious and stepping back slightly I view what it holds. Inside the sight of what used be a drone, its arms missing along with the right leg, all that is accompanied by large gashes in its chassis that rips its checkered red and black shirt. Oil covers the whole crater head to toe and the sight of dull claw marks from what was its attempted struggle take their place on the left and right of the drone. Unfortunately its gender is completely unknown as the clothing I can't tell much with just a ripped shirt remaining and the hair having been removed potentially.

But what keeps my attention is that error code. It brings memories I don't own for me to see in their full glory/horror, memories where I feel loved and yet fight against it but also for it in a struggle that's not mine. These memories twist and turn in a never ending clash to see who was right all along in their battle of domination...

But by now I can't care.

I never existed when those two fought for control over this body, I never existed when they fought for their morals and by now I don't even know if I ever did exist. Am I just a wall used to stop a mental war that happened years ago. Did they both conjure me to end it with out knowing? Are they actually the same person fighting a dark urge for the villain in the story and had a mental breakdown?

Who knows. All I know is that I'm on a planet that's freezing, surrounded by people from a past that isn't mine and I'm the one ment to fix it. At least that's what they want. Do I want that? Honestly I don't know, I've never had another dream out side of that so for now I guess I do.

Still on my lonely journey through the city i start to enter what looks like the shopping district. The buildings shrinking in size, around 3-4 stories at most, their fronts mostly being made of glass that no longer exists so passing by you could see their wears that are damaged from the stains of time. Seems It's a little darker today, the moons light struggling to break through the clouds. Pouring down on me the snow mixed with ash starts coating my shoulders, cap and visor, it doesn't bother me too much so I allow it to settle there in a calm stillness many dream of.

Who are we as a people? - Noticing a rock along the path I begin kicking it along with me.

I mean what defines us as a person. Kick. Is it the way we act or the place we come from. Kick. One way I'm the neutral side to a war that I never wanted to be in, the other I'm nothing but the memories of a child enjoying a hot chocolate while sick. Kick. What was the sickness again? Something like the flu but more dangerous I think something like pneumonia. Kick. Wait that doesn't sound right, sounds like someone else, eh that was never the main point anyway... kick. what I'm trying to get at I suppose is that I don't know who I am or who we are. Kick. Old (Y/N) hates talking about his past as the memories hurt by now as seeing things like that would hurt anyone and older (Y/N) well, we don't know. Kick. All we do know is that he just appeared and tried killing old (Y/N), saying things like this is 'my rightful body' and 'a human would never understand the knowledge of a god'. Kick. Then me, I was just there, when I came none knows, not even me. Kick. All I do know is that both of them are not in control, at least not in the literal sense. Kick. Sure they can sway my opinion and in rare cases even change my actions if they put a lot of effort in but I still do everything else.

Kick but with force

I could kill us all right now...

Still Kicking a rock along the path with less force I keep just thinking. On what, I don't know anymore, it's just turning into thoughts now that'll never lead any where but a dead end of zero answers or the feeling of falling. Plus I'm getting tired of the existential dread I'm having on my identity as a howl and I've only been awake for an 1 hour, 47 minutes and 21 seconds. New record I guess...

I've been walking for hours now, ran out of thoughts on the first hour and for the rest I've just walked. It's weird not hearing the other (Y/N)'s for so long like this. Wonder what's happening?

————————————-/we are ment/———————

That's the deal.

But. I-I can't just making him the whipping boy.

Would you rather this war be a three way.

No but still it's just mucked up -

- Are you doing it.

.

.

.

Yes...

———————————-/to be/————————————
———————————-/end/————————————

Short chapter Yippe 🎉

A nice amount of dread thrown into the mix today, honestly I personally like this chapter :3

Anyway thanks for reading

Dear readers :)