awkward meetings (joshler au)

feelings

the voices in his head were growing stronger. he could only stop them when he was around josh or talking with him on skype. they would say mean things to tyler and they would tell him that's he's a horrible person. that he shouldn't be alive. that he was just a worthless fag. but it's kinda true, tyler would think. 'no, it's not kinda true, it is true!' the voice would reply back to this thoughts. he was slowly losing more and more sleep. so he slowly began thinking bad thoughts. "how much does josh hate me?" "i bet he's just being nice so he doesn't have to deal with my depressing ass feelings." "josh must really hate me." he started writing more music and the voices would shut up for awhile but it wasn't for long. he'd skype josh for hours a day. and when josh went to work, he didn't know how he'd survive. so he'd just walk around the park, just watching the birds tweet by, and the sun set. then he'd get a text. 'come home and skype me, you little kitten.' then tyler's day would instantly become better. he'd run home and immediately get on skype, then he would skype tyler until tyler fell asleep. josh thought it was rather cute. and that's how josh got the nick name "kitten". because Tyler would sleep like a kitten, all curled up on the couch with his face in his arms. but josh wouldn't hang up when tyler fell asleep. he'd just stay up until he fell asleep. then tyler would wake up and see josh getting ready. and if he was lucky, he get a glimpse of him shirtless. holy shit, did that only make him love that beautiful face and nice personality even more. but either way, they'd say goodbye and then they'd hang up. and tyler would begin his day of misery. of missing josh.

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little did tyler know, josh had begun having feelings for tyler. josh would think of him, and the cute little way he slept. god, he loved him. he thought he was straight. but after talking to himself, he realized something. gender doesn't matter. it's just the feelings you feel towards someone. that's when he figured himself out. he was pansexual. he loved the person not for their gender but who they were inside. so he would just think of tyler. his cute little kitten. but he was scared. what if he didn't like him back? what if he got rejected? he had to keep this a secret. oh well. it would have to do for awhile. before he was ready. but sometimes, those thoughts would get a bit... naughty. and he would have to excuse himself into the bathroom, and I think you know the rest. so after his shift ended, he would head home and then text tyler: "im home, skype me little kitten." god, tyler seemed so excited when josh picked up. he thought it was so adorable. and he would laugh and they would talk all night.

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